After a disappointing triathlon season, I decided to train for (OK, cram for! Jill was right) a 10K yesterday. It was on the Riverfront and consisted of a much flatter and easier course than any other 10K I've ever done, so I thought a new PR would be a breeze. My current 10K PR was set in 2006... so it's time I break it.
My original goal was to PR, but my real goal was to break 50 minutes for the first time. That would mean a 46 second PR on an easier course. Should have been no problem.
With only five weeks until race day, I hired Iron Ex, the most talented coach I know -- and frankly the only person I trust to train me. With his help while we were together, I'd PRed at pretty much everything I tried, so I knew he would be tough but effective. I went from 2-3 runs per week (10-12 miles max) all spring and summer to 5-6 runs per week (20-27 miles). I did speedwork, hills, tempo runs, and long(er) runs (7-8 miles) on the weekends. I thought my legs would fall off, and I dreamed up new curse words to call him on the track pretty regularly, but I did it.
Saturday night D and I had Flyers tickets. Thinking I was being so smart, I ate before the game to avoid eating crap at the game. Unfortunately, I didn't eat again, except for some Twizzlers, for the rest of the night Saturday. In hindsight, I should have had something before going to bed.
Sunday morning, I had some cereal and a banana, and I made a mental note to make my traditional pre-race peanut butter sandwich for the car.
And then I forgot all about the sandwich.
Those errors killed me. Not enough food on Saturday, no food LATE on Saturday, and not nearly enough Sunday morning before the race. I started out feeling strong and confident, hitting my watch at 7:54 at the one mile marker. A bit too fast -- I needed to run 8s the whole race to break 50 minutes -- but I felt good. It didn't feel too fast. I knew I'd slow down a bit, and I was happy to have those extra precious seconds in the bank, as my friend Chris would say.
Mile 2 had the only significant hill. I knew I'd slowed down a little bit, but again I was OK with it. Until I hit my watch at the mile 2 marker and saw a big 8:25 taunting me. WTF??
I tried to pick it up during mile 3, but the turnaround was about a quarter mile into this mile and the tailwind I never even knew was aiding me turned into a really awful headwind. Everyone at this point was complaining about it. Oh well, nothing we can do about it. I think mile 3 was 8:14. Better, but still not good enough.
During mile 4 we ran next to the river and had to battle a pretty significant crosswind. Note: crosswinds are almost as hard as headwinds. I think mile 4 was 8:15, but I'm not 100% sure. It was a struggle to maintain that pace, and I knew I couldn't go any faster.
By mile 5 I knew I wasn't going to break 50 minutes or PR. I knew I'd blown it. My legs weighed about 80 pounds each at this point. I had no energy. I was mentally shutting down. I desperately looked for D and Shaggy along the course, telling myself I would stop to pet Shaggy for 10 seconds and get a second wind (no pun intended). I never did find them, and that was devastating. I so desperately wanted to stop, even for a second. Nearly in tears, I hit my watch at 8:24 for mile 5.
And then in mile 6, it all fell apart. I stopped even trying. I think you could best call what I was doing a shuffle. My legs were done, my brain was done, and I wanted to just walk off the course and never run again. Mile 6 was 9 freaking 05.
I don't even know what the final 2/10ths were. And I don't care. By my watch, my final time was 52:21. Two and a half minutes over my goal.
I don't know if I can do this any more. It hasn't been fun in a long, long time. I hate to finish this way, but I hate even more the thought of putting in the effort for nothing.
I think my bad attitude and I need some time to figure this out.