So I might have an explanation for what's been ailing me

If you've read this blog on any kind of regular basis, you probably have recognized that I haven't been myself recently. My moods have varied widely, my motivation is at an all-time low, and I'm not deriving pleasure from the things I have always loved. I'm also battling horrendous insomnia and female problems, but until recently (thank you, D) I hadn't realized there could be a connection... other than "I'm bleeding like a mofo and not sleeping so of course I'm grumpy and unmotivated, you stupid s--t! Leave me the $%&* alone!!"

D sent a very sweet, thoughtful email last week when I was completely down in the dumps. After some research, he hypothesized that the birth control pills my doc had prescribed for my cramps were possibly leading to depression. Intrigued, I did my own research (how on earth did we ever survive without Google????). What I found was horrifying, depressing, and scary, but somehow invigorating at the same time. You mean, there might be a BIOLOGICAL reason I'm such a turd????

Perimenopause. The period of time just before a woman goes through menopause.

- Trouble sleeping. Check.
- Night sweats and/or hot flashes. Check.
- Irregular periods and/or heavy bleeding. - Check.
- Mood swings. Check.
- Loss of interest or feelings of hopelessness. Check.
- Forgetfulness. Check.
- Headaches. Check.
- Weight gain. Check.
- Fatigue. Check.
- Sore breasts. Check.
- Anxiety. Check.
- Loss of balance. Check.
- Plus a variety of other loveliness, the details of which I won't bore you with right now.

Other than D, only four people know I'm struggling with this: my mom, Karen, Heather, and another (male) running friend, who promptly replied, "No, you're too young!" Sadly, I'm not too young. Mom was 42 when she hit menopause, and her mother was in her 30s. I'm 43, folks. Do the math.

I'll know more when we get test results back. I left the doctor's office this morning with three prescriptions (who gets THREE slips from the ob/gyn???). Blood work, another pelvic ultrasound, and a different pill that's lower in progesterone. So while it may be a few weeks or even months until I know something, at least I know there may be an answer on the horizon and an explanation for why I'm just not myself anymore. Knowledge is power. I'm not thrilled about racing toward menopause at such a young age -- my overwhelming feeling is that my body is betraying me YET AGAIN -- but at least I will have some answers... and hopefully a path forward.

[tap tap] Is this thing on?

No comments about anything? Am I that boring?

Dear Sandman,

You can take your insomnia and shove it up your ass.

Ideal Racing Weight

I saw an article in Triathlete magazine that I found interesting. Admittedly, I didn't read the whole thing, so I don't know if there's some context I'm missing here, but the gist of the article was racing at your ideal weight. At the end, it included a formula for calculating it.

Things you must know before you start:
Current weight
Current body fat percentage
Goal body fat percentage

Here's the formula:

1. Calculate your body fat mass (weight x body fat %)
2. Calculate your lean body mass (weight - body fat mass)
3. Calculate your goal lean body mass (1 - goal body fat %)
4. GOAL WEIGHT = lean body mass / goal lean body mass

The final number was NOT what I expected.