I'm so indecisive

Months ago, the Outer Banks Marathon was suggested as a fall meet-up for my running group. I immediately decided to go to run the half marathon and signed up accordingly.

When Voodoo died, I decided to VTFU and upgrade to the full marathon in his honor. Since then, my running has been sporadic, at best. This week's total, thus far, as an example: zero miles.

I also was recruited to be a volunteer coach for the new Fast Cats cross-country team. Practices are three evenings a week, which clearly cuts into my running time.

I also signed up for another sprint triathlon on September 13, after my great success last weekend. Quite frankly, triathlons are WAY more fun than just running; however, by their very nature, they require quite a bit of cross-training.

With work demands, some upcoming travel (just long weekends, but still), my volunteer commitments, and the unrealistic pressure I always put on myself, I cracked last night. Tearfully, I told a friend on the phone, "I can't even find the time to run 5 miles! How the eff am I going to do those 20s??"

I am clearly not cut out to run marathons. Every time I try to commit to one, I back out. Now I know not to commit, at least. I'll stick to triathlons and half marathons and shorter races.

And so, I emailed the OBX race director and active.com this morning and asked them to switch me back to the half marathon.

I feel like a failure. I feel so humiliated. I feel like a big loser (and not in a positive reality show kinda way).

However, my stress level decreased significantly last night when I made that decision. What also helped was the amazing pep talk I received on the phone. You know who you are, and I absolutely love you and can't thank you enough for your support and your valued advice.

Let's think of words...

... that rhyme with Vick.

Hick
Thick
Sick
Dick
Prick
Inconsistent, overrated, undeserving, sadistic, evil, inhumane piece of shit.

Shoot, that doesn't rhyme.

Oh well.