Months ago, the Outer Banks Marathon was suggested as a fall meet-up for my running group. I immediately decided to go to run the half marathon and signed up accordingly.
When Voodoo died, I decided to VTFU and upgrade to the full marathon in his honor. Since then, my running has been sporadic, at best. This week's total, thus far, as an example: zero miles.
I also was recruited to be a volunteer coach for the new Fast Cats cross-country team. Practices are three evenings a week, which clearly cuts into my running time.
I also signed up for another sprint triathlon on September 13, after my great success last weekend. Quite frankly, triathlons are WAY more fun than just running; however, by their very nature, they require quite a bit of cross-training.
With work demands, some upcoming travel (just long weekends, but still), my volunteer commitments, and the unrealistic pressure I always put on myself, I cracked last night. Tearfully, I told a friend on the phone, "I can't even find the time to run 5 miles! How the eff am I going to do those 20s??"
I am clearly not cut out to run marathons. Every time I try to commit to one, I back out. Now I know not to commit, at least. I'll stick to triathlons and half marathons and shorter races.
And so, I emailed the OBX race director and active.com this morning and asked them to switch me back to the half marathon.
I feel like a failure. I feel so humiliated. I feel like a big loser (and not in a positive reality show kinda way).
However, my stress level decreased significantly last night when I made that decision. What also helped was the amazing pep talk I received on the phone. You know who you are, and I absolutely love you and can't thank you enough for your support and your valued advice.
4 comments:
Honestly, I think that was very smart of you to switch to the half marathon. A few people upgraded to the full with the best intentions to VTFU and I immediately thought of all the injuries waiting to happen. I hope that is not the case, for sure. So, smart move! Do what's right for you.
I am shocked to hear that you have moments of doubt about your abilities as an athlete. Ever since I first trained with you at the Y I have held you as the golden standard of fitness and awesomeness. I think you are amazing!
Rebecca
see, i can't find the time nor the resources to get into the tri training. i'd love to, but just physically can't so i stick to running.
do what's best for you wrs to obx - no reason to feel like a failure.
rock on kiddo!
Alexis!! You have to give yourself a break! First, there has to be a balance in life - you can't spend all of your time exercising and training for races! Without that balance, you will never know peace. Second, it is REALLY difficult to be a runner and a triathlete in the same season. There is just not enough time to get the right workouts in, so sometimes you have to pick what you want to do. If you really want to do a marathon, when the time is right, you will pick the right one and get the right training in - but you might have to sacrifice doing something else...
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