Race Pics

The photos from Sunday kind of tell the whole story. :)

Pre-race... Happy and relaxed! But why am I looking the wrong way?

Off we go!

Watch your step! And... nice 'do.

So serious:

Dazed and confused:

My feet are barely leaving the ground here:

Yay! The finish line!

Long-Awaited Race Report

So maybe you haven't been anxiously awaiting my witty, self-deprecating race report, but humor me and pretend you have, OK? :)

Sunday was the New Jersey State Tri, my A race of the year. Prior to Sunday, I had done one Olympic triathlon, and that was three years ago. At that time, I was running a lot more (and a lot faster) but biking and swimming less. My time in that race was 3:14 or 3:16 or something or other (the race site no longer lists results from 2008, so I don't know for sure).

My #1 goal was -- and still is, sadly -- to break 3 hours for an Olympic tri. With the Mid-Atlantic in the grips of Heat Wave #5, I knew Sunday would not be my day. I hoped I'd be close, though. Maybe 3:05ish? 3:10 at worst?

THE SWIM
If you've been reading this for a while, you know I have had issues with open water anxiety. A great experience with a practice open water swim (and The Swim Whisperer) two weeks ago gave me much-needed confidence. Prior to the race, I was nervous, but more butterflies nervous than "Oh my God I'm going to die" nervous. I was in Wave 7 out of 11, and the race started about 10 minutes late... which meant I didn't get in the water until about 8:10 a.m. This is significant because the announcer told us at about 7:20 a.m. that it was already 83 degrees out.

Our wave started... and I was fine. Better than fine. I had strategically positioned myself toward the back of the pack (120 or so people in my wave), away from the thrashing. I paced myself and used my friend Michelle's advice, chanting "stroke stroke breathe" in my head to get into a rhythm. Friends Jennifer and Katrina also made an appearance in my brain, reminding me to beeee caaalllllm. It worked. No anxiety, no nervousness, no fear. I swam and swam and swam. Yes, I was kicked, punched, scratched, whatever. Didn't bother me at all. Yes, I had the sun in my eyes (note to self: buy tinted goggles!) after the second turn. Didn't bother me at all. Yes, I had a minor asthma attack about 15 yards from the finish. Didn't bother me at all. I emerged from the water, waved at D, and began the long, uphill run toward the transition area. 1,500 meters in 36:05.

THE BIKE
It took me quite a while to feel good on the bike. My legs were so tired! I couldn't understand it after such a relaxed taper week last week. I should have been rested and ready, but instead I felt as though I'd done a 40-miler the day before the race. Finally, I got into a bit of a rhythm and settled in for the 25.5 mile bike ride. Even though I'd practiced riding in aero position as much as possible, the flat bike course meant I was in aero for the majority of the time... and I wasn't ready for that. About 3/4 of the way through, I just. hurt. (Warning, TMI coming!) I couldn't get comfortable, and the thin padding on my shorts wasn't helping. (My race shorts have an even thinner pad than the thinly padded tri shorts I wear in training.) Plus, I was very crampy, and the 3 Advils I had taken at 5:30 a.m. had already worn off. I couldn't wait to get back to transition to take more Advil. Being in aero position put a lot of pressure on my crampy gut. I sat up quite a bit, and at one point I stood and dropped my heels to stretch a bit.

There was a little wind on the bike course, but honestly I have no excuses for why I didn't do better. It just wasn't my day. The bike and I were not friends on Sunday. 25.5 miles in 1:27:29 (17.5 mph average).

THE DEATH MARCH, AKA THE GREAT BONK OF 2011, AKA THE RUN
After downing 3 more Advils, taking a few puffs from my inhaler, eating some Sport Beans and drinking from my water bottle, I started running. At first, I felt OK. I was hoping for about a 9 minute pace for the 10K run, and I probably did the first mile in slightly more than that. I had forgotten to put my watch on, and it was actually a good thing. If I'd seen how slowly I was going in the later miles, I probably would have given up!

Due to the excessive heat, I made a decision to take water and/or Heed at every water stop and WALK the water stops. I have to hand it to CGI Racing; they had water at about every mile, plus two misting stations (the second of which was more of a drenching station... we ran through a puddle about an inch deep from all the water!), plus bags of ice and icy cold towels. They did everything possible to keep us safe and cool. I took advantage of EVERYTHING they offered me -- water, ice, towel, misting, a girl with a hose near the transition area, more water, Heed, more ice, another towel, etc. I must have walked 1.5 miles of the 10K, and I know each mile got slower and slower. Folks, I totally bonked out there. I just had nothing left to give at that point. I later found out that it was 95 degrees with a heat index of 100 at that time.

All I wanted to do was finish, time be damned. After the 5 mile marker, I stopped producing sweat altogether. Never a good sign, but I kept shuffling along, knowing I was so close to the finish. As I came around the turn to the finish chute, I heard my brother, uncle, D, and my friend Darlise (who kicked ass and did a 2:54!) cheering for me. Oh, how sweet a sound! 10K in 1:05:24 (10:33 pace).

(That's me coming to the finish after 3+ hours of racing. So happy to be done!)

My total time was 3:13:29. I'm disappointed, but I know I did the best I could on that particular day.

Will I do an Olympic again? Probably, and I won't wait three more years. I'm such a big fan of CGI Racing that I will probably sign up for the same race next year. It can't possibly be worse, right? ;)

The best feedback I've gotten

"Sorry, Theia it was the suck. But you know what? You were out there for bunches of hours doing bunches of hard things in terrible weather when most other people would say, 'nah...no way.' In great challenge it shows who we are...this shows you kick serious ass. Period." ~ Cranegirl, aka Melissa

You know what? She's right. I do kick serious ass, and so do all my friends -- real and imaginary -- who challenge their bodies and their minds on a regular basis, refusing to give in or give up.

This is not my race report

That will come in the next few days (possibly even tomorrow if I have time).

The big race was today. To say I'm disappointed wouldn't even scratch the surface of what I'm feeling. However, I'm hesitant to write about it because I don't want the obligatory "It was just one day... don't let it get you down" comments.

(Not that I don't appreciate them. I do. I really do. I just don't want my blogger friends to feel obligated to write them.)

The fact is, I haven't had a good race -- a race I'm really proud of -- in years. It might be time to retire.

Then again, I could wake up in a day or two, forget all the pain and suffering, and sign up for something again. Just 'cause I'm stupid like that.

P.S. SO AWESOME to meet Miles99999 (I hope I have the right number of 9s there) this weekend!!!!

Training log

I keep a training log at runningahead.com. It's copied automatically here on Fit Goddess, in the right column. Well, the most recent five or six workouts are copied here, anyway.

One of the things I like to do before a race is go back over my log to see how much work I've done in preparation. Now, mind you, this can backfire if I don't like what I see... or if I compare it to last year during the same time period and it seems inadequate... or what have you. But typically, seeing all my hard work in front of me helps me realize how much I've done to prepare and how ready I really am.

I started training with Coach in mid-May, a bit late for a July 24 goal race, but our schedules didn't mesh before then. (Plus, I didn't realize the magic 12 week window of training had crept up on me until it was already here!) Since then, I have logged:

38,450 yards in the water (21.85 miles)
585.9 miles on my bike
161.6 miles on my feet

(That doesn't include whatever I do this week during my taper, of course.)

That's a lot of miles. And those numbers provide a lot of comfort. I've done the work. Now it's time to have fun on Sunday.

Grace(less) under pressure

THE SCENE:
South Philadelphia. Theia, her brother, his friend, and SauconRunner are walking toward Lincoln Financial Field for the long-awaited U2 concert. Among the thousands of people heading in the same direction, Theia spots a familiar face...


Theia: blah blah blah ha ha ha
SauconRunner: ha ha blah blah blah bl...
Theia: OMG! Hold on. OMG.
Theia rushes stage right toward Ian Laperriere of the Philadelphia Flyers.
Theia: Excuse me.
Lappy turns.
Theia: I love you.
Lappy: Thank you.
Mrs. Lappy: Awwwww.
Theia [to Mrs. Lappy]: I'm sorry.
Theia [to Lappy]: I do. I love you. I miss you.
Lappy: Thank you.
Theia: And I wish you all the best.
Lappy: That is very kind. Thank you.

Smooth. Very smooth.

The Swim Whisperer

Last night I accompanied two friends to an open water swim. I had admitted to one of them that I have major anxiety in open water, so they invited me to join them, saying how much it had helped one of them get over the same paralyzing fear.

First, let me tell you that I was shocked to hear that K had any sort of anxiety about anything. This is a woman who routinely earns a podium spot (like, the MAIN podium, not just an age group podium). Last weekend, she was 2nd woman and 16th overall at an Olympic tri, and she's also training for Ironman Canada! There is NO WAY she has a fear of open water. But, they assured me that she'd had issues and that this weekly open water swim opportunity had really helped her overcome them.

When we arrived, they introduced me to a few people and told them about my anxiety. A woman came right over to me. "Come with me," she said, taking my hand. "I am the Swim Whisperer."

We walked to the water's edge, where she asked me what I'm afraid of, when it started, and if I knew why I had the anxiety. I told her all about being an absolutely fearless child and adult until I was caught in a ripcurrent in November 2009 (read about it here). That experience made me realize just how vulnerable we are in the water and has been messing with my brain ever since. SW suggested that I swim only to the first buoy and then back, but of course I promptly ignored that advice because I'm far too Type A to shortcut anything.

After SW gave me her big pep talk, K came over and asked if I was going to take SW's advice to stay closer to shore, and I said I really wanted to swim to the far buoy (a quarter mile away). K gave me an encouraging nod and then, in a big announcer voice, said, "Females 45-49, your wave will start in 3 minutes. Please enter the water. Females 45-49." Just like a race situation! A short bit later, she did it again. "Females 45-49, one minute. One minute." Then, "Females 45-49, 30 seconds." I didn't have the same anxiety I would have before a race, but it did help to have that deadline looming, even if it was artificial.

K told me to keep her pink swim cap in my sight, and off we went. From the very first moment, I had no anxiety. Zero. It was a glorious night to be in the water, and I was calm and serene. I made it to the fourth and final buoy in 9:13, which is a bit slower than I would do a quarter mile in the pool, but I was thrilled. Made it back to the starting buoy in 18:10 (what? I was faster on the way back??), ran out of the water as SW had suggested, got a quick sip from my water bottle, and ran back in to do it again.

All in all, I did a mile in 36:32, which rivals my speed in a pool where there is no anxiety, no fear, and a wall to push off at the end of each length. Overjoyed doesn't even begin to describe it.

SW finished her swim (she probably did 2 miles in the time it took me to do 1!) and came over to me to ask how I did. I told her I felt great the whole time but that was probably at least in part due to the fact that no one was near me. I had to weave around a few swimmers, but it was nothing like a race situation where hundreds of people are thrashing, punching, pulling, and grabbing in each wave. So she told me to swim. I swam. And as I did, she pulled, elbowed, kicked, pushed, and clawed at me. At one point she pushed my legs down so far they were useless, and at another point she grabbed my butt. :) Cracking up, I stood up and turned around to look at her. "Swim! You're not going to stop and laugh next week in your race. Kick harder!"

So I swam again. More pushing, pulling, grabbing. She swam completely on top of my legs to force me to kick her off me.

Afterward, I grabbed her and gave her a huge hug. "You're ready. You're going to do great," she assured me. "You'll let us know how you did, right?"

Thank you, Swim Whisperer. This race is for you.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen... Lend me your mantras

OK, so it's not an exact quote, but you get the idea.

Last night in the pool I started to have second thoughts (OK, more like 30th thoughts) about this race on the 24th. By all accounts, it was a good swim. I did 2,200 yards total, including a fast (for me) 500 right in the middle at 9:30. I practiced sighting, kicking, pulling, and putting it all together.

Still, I created doubt in my mind. And, worse, fear. I thought about dropping out of the race altogether. Or switching from the Olympic to the sprint. Once that thought entered my mind, it was so appealing... A nice short swim sounds great. None of this "I have to swim HOW FAR to that buoy????" anxiety.

But it also pisses me off, quite frankly. Why do I give up so easily?

What's happening here is that I am allowing my mind to sabotage my race. So I'm asking my blogger friends for their best mantras or relaxation techniques. When you are stressed, how do calm yourself down (or, more accurately, talk yourself off the ledge)?

OMG!

The groomer told me this is Scooby. I remain unconvinced. :)

Random ramblings

- Yesterday was my consultation with the sleep doc (finally!). I have some tests and homework to do, including an MRI of my brain to rule out any neurological issues. The doc explained that insomnia is a condition in and of itself, but often there is a secondary cause or issue related to it. In my case, my secondary issue may be my asthma. Yes, that's right, the asthma may have contributed to the insomnia years and years ago, and now my body has adjusted to this new pattern of sleeping and waking. More waking, less sleeping, to be precise. So we're going to try some things over the next few months and see if there's any improvement.

- So far, not so good. I woke up at 4:32 a.m. for no reason and have been awake ever since. I didn't even have an a.m. workout to do today. Crapfest.

- Meet my new officemate!

Scooby was with me at work this morning until his grooming appointment. The next picture of him will look drastically different...

- All the swimming, biking, and running is doing amazing things for my body... and wreaking havoc on my hair and skin.

- Somehow, there was an 8 pound difference between my scale yesterday morning and the doctor's scale at lunchtime. His was 8 pounds higher, of course (I was 136.6 at home and 145 on his scale). I vote for using my scale to measure my progress, simply for consistency. Right. That's it. Consistency. No other reason. :)

Things Runners Wish Non-Runners Knew

1. We are pedestrians. Pedestrians have the right of way. Therefore, we have the right of way.

2. It is not only impolite but also dangerous to drive so close to us that we could punch touch your car if we wanted to. Move the F over and give us a bit of space. If someone is approaching from the opposite direction that prohibits you from moving over a few inches, you may have to slow down until they pass. You'll survive. I promise.

3. On a track, the inner lanes are reserved for the fastest runners. If you are walking, walk on the outside lanes so that we don't have to weave around you during our intervals. Please and thank you.

4. Related to #3... If we politely ask you if you'd mind moving over so that we could run in one lane all the way around, the proper response is never an eye roll.

5. Running isn't bad for us. It's actually quite good for us. Lots of good stuff happens when we run -- calorie burn, weight maintenance or loss, improved cardiovascular capacity, higher metabolism, lower stress, improved musculature, lower blood pressure and cholesterol, higher bone density, and more. Look it up if you don't believe me. Here, I'll make it easy for you. Health benefits of running <-- Just click on it!

6. If we're running up a steep hill, please don't stop us to ask for directions. If we stop to help you, chances are pretty good we won't be able to start again. So just wait at the top, pull over, and we'll be happy to help you. At that point, we may even welcome a little break. :)

7. I love dogs. D and I have two of them. However, I'm pretty confident I speak for all runners when I say I don't want them -- or any other dog -- to chase me. Keep your dog on a leash if it can't be trusted to stay by your side. And those retractable leashes? Retract them, fercrissakes. Just because your dog is on a leash doesn't automatically mean you're behaving like a responsible pet owner. If the leash is ten feet long and the dog is interfering with our movement or progress, we will tell you about it. And we won't be nice.

8. On a trail or in a race, please don't walk or run 6-across. Or even 3-across. On a busy stretch, whether it's a narrow trail, busy road, or race, go single file when someone is approaching.

9. Please let us pass you. If you hear "On your left," it means a runner or cyclist is coming up from behind you and going faster than you are. Simply move to your right (remember the single file suggestion???) and let us pass.

10. Remember that to us, running is as important as eating, sleeping, and breathing. It's a lifestyle, a choice we've made to live our lives a certain (healthy) way.

There is no justice

Casey Anthony was acquitted.

Happy July 4 weekend!

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

I hope you are able to celebrate with loved ones and enjoy some time off. Safe travels to anyone who is on the road (or in the air) this weekend.