Every year at Thanksgiving we go around the table to say what we're thankful for. Here's my list.
- I'm extremely thankful that my cancer scare was nothing more than that: a scare.
- I'm thankful that my parents were able to both come to dinner at my house on a holiday with no drama or incidents. (No small feat.)
- I'm thankful that IronHubby was smart enough to pull himself out of Ironman Lake Placid in July before he got seriously hurt.
- I'm thankful every day for my pets, because they bring me such joy and endless smiles.
- I'm thankful for my health and the health of my loved ones.
- In this uncertain economy, I'm thankful for my job and IronHubby's job. While we don't have much, we have a lot more than a lot of other people.
- And most of all, I'm thankful for the people in my life. I am truly blessed to have the most supportive family and friends anyone could ask for. I am grateful that I can count my mother, brother, and husband among my closest friends. I am thankful for friends old and new, near and far. I'm thankful for those I talk to nearly every day and for those I don't get to speak to often but know in my heart are thinking of me.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Dad update
I met Dad at the VA Hospital again yesterday in what turned into a 3-hour ordeal. We were taken for his 2:20 appointment at 4:30. Ugh.
All his tests from the ER a few weeks ago were good. His bloodwork was fine, there's no evidence of a thyroid, heart, or liver problem, his kidneys are functioning fine, etc. Everything looks OK in terms of potential major problems.
He does have a neuropathy in his feet, though, which is causing some blockage between his brain and his legs and feet, hence the multiple falls. The doctor stressed again that he needs to use his walker. Yesterday, he was using his cane instead of the walker. Just a little stubborn...
He's also pretty significantly arthritic, particularly in his knees, shoulders, and upper back. The doctor is prescribing an ointment that he can apply directly to those areas and said he can take his pain meds in higher doses. She didn't seem at all concerned at the amounts of various pills he's taking regularly, and I didn't feel comfortable confronting her about it.
One other thing... He has depression and refuses to seek help for it. That's what worries me most. His living situation is quite stressful right now and is the main cause of the problem. I'll have to tread gingerly on this subject. He's old-school; people who seek mental help are weak. Crazy, even. I don't know how I'm going to convince him that it's a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit you need help.
All his tests from the ER a few weeks ago were good. His bloodwork was fine, there's no evidence of a thyroid, heart, or liver problem, his kidneys are functioning fine, etc. Everything looks OK in terms of potential major problems.
He does have a neuropathy in his feet, though, which is causing some blockage between his brain and his legs and feet, hence the multiple falls. The doctor stressed again that he needs to use his walker. Yesterday, he was using his cane instead of the walker. Just a little stubborn...
He's also pretty significantly arthritic, particularly in his knees, shoulders, and upper back. The doctor is prescribing an ointment that he can apply directly to those areas and said he can take his pain meds in higher doses. She didn't seem at all concerned at the amounts of various pills he's taking regularly, and I didn't feel comfortable confronting her about it.
One other thing... He has depression and refuses to seek help for it. That's what worries me most. His living situation is quite stressful right now and is the main cause of the problem. I'll have to tread gingerly on this subject. He's old-school; people who seek mental help are weak. Crazy, even. I don't know how I'm going to convince him that it's a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit you need help.
Monday, November 24, 2008
What do I do now?
I know I posted this five or six weeks ago, but my race season is officially over. This time for real. :) As much as I'd love to go for a new 10K PR at Brian's Run in a few weeks, I know in my heart I need a break.
Yesterday's Philadelphia Half Marathon was a miserable experience from start to finish. The cold was brutal for a wimp like me, so my hands and feet never got completely warm. I ran by myself the entire way, except for the two instances where I saw Larry and Eileen on the course (both times they spotted me and caught up to me, only to fall behind and wish me well after chatting for a few seconds). At the finish, I actually was reduced to tears because my fingers were so cold.
Here are my splits. I missed more mile markers than usual.
8:59
8:35
17:30 (8:45 average)
16:44 (8:22 average)
9:06 (long, gradual incline, plus I slowed down for water)
17:39 (8:49 average)
9:12 (the hill leading into Fairmount Park, plus more water and walking over all the ice that had formed from the spilled water... treacherous!!!)
8:47
8:28
8:33
:56
Clearly, I lost my focus in those middle miles. I went from an 8:22 average pace during miles 5 and 6 to an 8:59 average pace for the next four miles before realizing how off target I was. Even though I sped up the last three miles, it was too late.
I missed my goal time by 3 minutes but finished 4:30 faster than last year. I should be happier about the improvement over last year, but I'm so disappointed at missing my goal. Oh well. I can't get a PR every time. I've had so much success this year, and it's a shame to have a disappointing race as my big finale, but it will hopefully motivate me to come back stronger and faster next summer.
It feels strange to not have a goal race, though. I've been so driven and so focused for the past 8 months. Now I have nothing to look forward to until a duathlon in May or June, most likely.
Until then, there is TONS of cross-training on my schedule. Yoga, weights, swimming, extra classes at the Y, some no pressure, non-race-specific running... Actually, that doesn't sound too bad, now that I think about it.
EDITED TO ADD:
I can't thank Joey T. enough for posting this on kickrunners.com -
Hang in there, Theia. I know exactly how you feel, but take a little time and you'll be ready again. Just look at the progress you've made -- disappointed in a 1:54!
Sometimes you just need a good kick in the arse to get some needed perspective. I feel ridiculous for complaining about my result. He's right. Thank you, Joey. xoxox
Yesterday's Philadelphia Half Marathon was a miserable experience from start to finish. The cold was brutal for a wimp like me, so my hands and feet never got completely warm. I ran by myself the entire way, except for the two instances where I saw Larry and Eileen on the course (both times they spotted me and caught up to me, only to fall behind and wish me well after chatting for a few seconds). At the finish, I actually was reduced to tears because my fingers were so cold.
Here are my splits. I missed more mile markers than usual.
8:59
8:35
17:30 (8:45 average)
16:44 (8:22 average)
9:06 (long, gradual incline, plus I slowed down for water)
17:39 (8:49 average)
9:12 (the hill leading into Fairmount Park, plus more water and walking over all the ice that had formed from the spilled water... treacherous!!!)
8:47
8:28
8:33
:56
Clearly, I lost my focus in those middle miles. I went from an 8:22 average pace during miles 5 and 6 to an 8:59 average pace for the next four miles before realizing how off target I was. Even though I sped up the last three miles, it was too late.
I missed my goal time by 3 minutes but finished 4:30 faster than last year. I should be happier about the improvement over last year, but I'm so disappointed at missing my goal. Oh well. I can't get a PR every time. I've had so much success this year, and it's a shame to have a disappointing race as my big finale, but it will hopefully motivate me to come back stronger and faster next summer.
It feels strange to not have a goal race, though. I've been so driven and so focused for the past 8 months. Now I have nothing to look forward to until a duathlon in May or June, most likely.
Until then, there is TONS of cross-training on my schedule. Yoga, weights, swimming, extra classes at the Y, some no pressure, non-race-specific running... Actually, that doesn't sound too bad, now that I think about it.
EDITED TO ADD:
I can't thank Joey T. enough for posting this on kickrunners.com -
Hang in there, Theia. I know exactly how you feel, but take a little time and you'll be ready again. Just look at the progress you've made -- disappointed in a 1:54!
Sometimes you just need a good kick in the arse to get some needed perspective. I feel ridiculous for complaining about my result. He's right. Thank you, Joey. xoxox
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Second blog
Just in case you don't read the comments, I did add a second blog just for the adoption process. You can link to it directly from my profile or the site list down the right side of this page, but to make it easy here it is:
www.theia-thelongslowroad.blogspot.com
While we were going through the fertility treatments, I often thought, "I really should be writing this stuff down," but never got around to it. That means I now have to try to dust off the cobwebs and get my brain to remember everything.
www.theia-thelongslowroad.blogspot.com
While we were going through the fertility treatments, I often thought, "I really should be writing this stuff down," but never got around to it. That means I now have to try to dust off the cobwebs and get my brain to remember everything.
"You have GOT to be kidding me"
That's what I said upon entering the Y last night and seeing about a dozen red Christmas balls hung with white ribbons from the ceiling, a large Christmas tree in the lobby, and a small tabletop tree decorated with lights and ribbons on the desk behind the counter.
The membership staff looked at me with blank expressions on their faces, so I explained, "It's not even Thanksgiving!"
It's bad enough that several stores have had Christmas candy and decorations on display since before Halloween. At least I can avoid those stores except for emergency situations. But the Y? The lobby I enter at least 4-5 times a week to teach classes or just work out on my own? I have to look at that from NOW? It's too early! Let me get through one holiday before you shove the next one in my face.
You've got to be kidding me.
The membership staff looked at me with blank expressions on their faces, so I explained, "It's not even Thanksgiving!"
It's bad enough that several stores have had Christmas candy and decorations on display since before Halloween. At least I can avoid those stores except for emergency situations. But the Y? The lobby I enter at least 4-5 times a week to teach classes or just work out on my own? I have to look at that from NOW? It's too early! Let me get through one holiday before you shove the next one in my face.
You've got to be kidding me.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The meeting with the adoption counselor
I posted this on kickrunners.com, but it occured to me that not everyone who visits here also reads my worthless crap over there so I'm cross-posting. :)
The meeting with the adoption counselor was this morning, and it went well. She was super nice and explained all our options... most of which are pretty sucky, to be honest.
Russia: 3 trips to Russia are required, making the total cost around $50,000. Riiiiiiiight.
China: Right now they're processing dossiers from February of 2006. 3-4 year waiting period, most likely.
Guatemala: Closed.
Vietnam: Closed.
Japan: Older children only, very difficult, long waiting period.
Domestic: The agency's program is very new, and in my state the birth parents have 14 days to sign a revocation clause (giving up their rights), but the courts take another 4-5 months to actually close the case so there's a possibility that the birth family can sue for rights, causing us much heartache and expense.
We have tons of paperwork to go through, and if we decide to pursue domestic adoption we have to create a "Dear Birthmother" letter and web page with fun, colorful information and pictures. No matter what we decide -- international or domestic -- we have to do our Home Study process, which includes a 3-5 page autobiography on each of us, criminal background checks, financial disclosures, all kinds of legal paperwork, and more. It's criminal; any douchebag can procreate (hello, Britney Spears), but I have to go through months of fertility treatments, years of waiting, all kinds of invasive legal paperwork, and then more years of waiting to adopt. It's just. not. fair.
Anyway, thanks for all the good wishes. I truly appreciate them!
Maybe I'll create a separate blog for this process, as we move through it. Hmmmm.
The meeting with the adoption counselor was this morning, and it went well. She was super nice and explained all our options... most of which are pretty sucky, to be honest.
Russia: 3 trips to Russia are required, making the total cost around $50,000. Riiiiiiiight.
China: Right now they're processing dossiers from February of 2006. 3-4 year waiting period, most likely.
Guatemala: Closed.
Vietnam: Closed.
Japan: Older children only, very difficult, long waiting period.
Domestic: The agency's program is very new, and in my state the birth parents have 14 days to sign a revocation clause (giving up their rights), but the courts take another 4-5 months to actually close the case so there's a possibility that the birth family can sue for rights, causing us much heartache and expense.
We have tons of paperwork to go through, and if we decide to pursue domestic adoption we have to create a "Dear Birthmother" letter and web page with fun, colorful information and pictures. No matter what we decide -- international or domestic -- we have to do our Home Study process, which includes a 3-5 page autobiography on each of us, criminal background checks, financial disclosures, all kinds of legal paperwork, and more. It's criminal; any douchebag can procreate (hello, Britney Spears), but I have to go through months of fertility treatments, years of waiting, all kinds of invasive legal paperwork, and then more years of waiting to adopt. It's just. not. fair.
Anyway, thanks for all the good wishes. I truly appreciate them!
Maybe I'll create a separate blog for this process, as we move through it. Hmmmm.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Taking the plunge
I've been relatively quiet about this subject recently for a variety of reasons, but I figured I'd write about it now.
IronHubby and I have our first appointment with an adoption counselor Tuesday morning. I'm equally nervous, excited, anxious, curious, impatient, and scared. The process is pretty daunting -- especially the financial aspects of it -- but at least it's pretty much guaranteed, unlike IVF, which was the only fertility option we did not explore the past few years.
(Good grief, we did it all over the course of our 10-11 months with the fertility doctor: literally hundreds of blood tests and ultrasounds, laparoscopic surgery, pills, vitamins, injections, x-rays, and other various sorts of torture. It's awful. It takes all the romance out of your relationship and makes it completely clinical and forced. I tried to maintain my sense of humor throughout, but it's hard. You get your hopes up month after month that THIS time it will have worked, and THIS time you'll get the result you want, only to be crushed over and over and over again. The emotional rollercoaster is one I wouldn't wish on anyone.)
Tuesday morning we'll find out more about the adoption process, both domestic and international. Right now the agency has a thriving program with China and a much slower program with Japan. I'm not sure what the advantages of domestic adoption are (if any), but we'll find that out as well.
Meanwhile, we continue to wait... We're good at it at this point.
IronHubby and I have our first appointment with an adoption counselor Tuesday morning. I'm equally nervous, excited, anxious, curious, impatient, and scared. The process is pretty daunting -- especially the financial aspects of it -- but at least it's pretty much guaranteed, unlike IVF, which was the only fertility option we did not explore the past few years.
(Good grief, we did it all over the course of our 10-11 months with the fertility doctor: literally hundreds of blood tests and ultrasounds, laparoscopic surgery, pills, vitamins, injections, x-rays, and other various sorts of torture. It's awful. It takes all the romance out of your relationship and makes it completely clinical and forced. I tried to maintain my sense of humor throughout, but it's hard. You get your hopes up month after month that THIS time it will have worked, and THIS time you'll get the result you want, only to be crushed over and over and over again. The emotional rollercoaster is one I wouldn't wish on anyone.)
Tuesday morning we'll find out more about the adoption process, both domestic and international. Right now the agency has a thriving program with China and a much slower program with Japan. I'm not sure what the advantages of domestic adoption are (if any), but we'll find that out as well.
Meanwhile, we continue to wait... We're good at it at this point.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sooo, this is pretty cool
I'm having sort of a midlife crisis and have been for a while. I'm just not as jazzed about work as I used to be. (I know, how lucky was I that I absolutely loved my job for so long??) I thought switching from government to non-profit would help, but honestly it didn't. I actually miss the hectic pace and constant crisis mode of government.
Anyway, someone asked me what I would do if money didn't matter, and the answer was simple -- something in the fitness industry. The most logical thing would be to combine my love for health and fitness with my writing skills. Way back in March, I contacted someone at a regional magazine to inquire about freelancing for their health and fitness special issues, which come out 2-3 times per year. Unfortunately, when I contacted them I had just missed the deadline for their fall issue.
However! (Drum roll, please!) Last week I received an assignment for their spring issue! And not just any assignment... I will be writing five -- yes, five! -- articles for their special yoga supplement. I am so excited!
I also submitted an article to a Philadelphia magazine that I've contributed to in the past, and that article might run in their January/February issue.
If only I could make a living at this. I'd be the happiest girl in the world.
Anyway, someone asked me what I would do if money didn't matter, and the answer was simple -- something in the fitness industry. The most logical thing would be to combine my love for health and fitness with my writing skills. Way back in March, I contacted someone at a regional magazine to inquire about freelancing for their health and fitness special issues, which come out 2-3 times per year. Unfortunately, when I contacted them I had just missed the deadline for their fall issue.
However! (Drum roll, please!) Last week I received an assignment for their spring issue! And not just any assignment... I will be writing five -- yes, five! -- articles for their special yoga supplement. I am so excited!
I also submitted an article to a Philadelphia magazine that I've contributed to in the past, and that article might run in their January/February issue.
If only I could make a living at this. I'd be the happiest girl in the world.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Proof that I am hideous without makeup
After last Sunday's 5K, I chatted briefly with the woman who finished right before me. Turns out she's a hair stylist and donated a prize... that I ended up winning! I saw her again at the Fall Fling Saturday night and introduced myself as the person who won the haircut. She said, with complete surprise, "Oh! You're cute! I've only ever seen you working out before!"
Uhhhhhhh, thanks?
Two weekends ago, while I was getting my nails done, I chatted with the guy who was working on me and complimented his English, blah blah. He said that he was born in Vietnam "a long, long time ago. 67! I was born in 67 in Vietnam." I replied, "That's not so long ago. I'm a little older than you." He looked up at me and said, "Yes, I see that."
WTF??????????? Is it Pick on Alexis month (again!)? No one informed me if it is. I would have tried to be mentally ready for all the insults.
:)
Somewhat related... I scheduled my surgery to rebreak and ultimately fix my broken nose. It'll be Tuesday, December 30, in order to take advantage of days off from work (so I don't have to use as many sick days). I. Am. Terrified!
Uhhhhhhh, thanks?
Two weekends ago, while I was getting my nails done, I chatted with the guy who was working on me and complimented his English, blah blah. He said that he was born in Vietnam "a long, long time ago. 67! I was born in 67 in Vietnam." I replied, "That's not so long ago. I'm a little older than you." He looked up at me and said, "Yes, I see that."
WTF??????????? Is it Pick on Alexis month (again!)? No one informed me if it is. I would have tried to be mentally ready for all the insults.
:)
Somewhat related... I scheduled my surgery to rebreak and ultimately fix my broken nose. It'll be Tuesday, December 30, in order to take advantage of days off from work (so I don't have to use as many sick days). I. Am. Terrified!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
This week's random post
- Thanks for all the good wishes (via the comments here on my blog, the emails, the texts, and the posts on kickrunners.com) for my dad. Yesterday was a long day for him, and I don't yet know what, if anything, was determined as I finally left him at the VA around lunchtime. We couldn't see his primary doctor, so he was getting multiple tests done in the ER. We also visited with the social worker, which was VERY productive.
- Muenster cheese rocks.
- I'm really sore from HEAT class last night. I like it! Today is a hardcore day; I ran 4 miles this morning and will teach Spinning and lift legs after work.
- My brother is leaving Monday for 2 weeks in Australia. He had so many frequent flier miles that his flight cost him a whopping $200. Brat. :)
- Leftover Halloween candy is the work of the devil. Please don't let me eat any more!
- Is it my imagination, or did Obama look less than thrilled when he gave his acceptance speech Tuesday night? I thought he almost looked terrified, like, "Holy carp! Now I have to actually DO all the stuff I promised!" Meanwhile, I thought McCain was very gracious, and of course my man Joe was beaming from ear to ear.
- Muenster cheese rocks.
- I'm really sore from HEAT class last night. I like it! Today is a hardcore day; I ran 4 miles this morning and will teach Spinning and lift legs after work.
- My brother is leaving Monday for 2 weeks in Australia. He had so many frequent flier miles that his flight cost him a whopping $200. Brat. :)
- Leftover Halloween candy is the work of the devil. Please don't let me eat any more!
- Is it my imagination, or did Obama look less than thrilled when he gave his acceptance speech Tuesday night? I thought he almost looked terrified, like, "Holy carp! Now I have to actually DO all the stuff I promised!" Meanwhile, I thought McCain was very gracious, and of course my man Joe was beaming from ear to ear.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Good vibes needed
Tomorrow morning I'm hopefully picking my dad up bright and early and driving him to the V.A. Hospital, where we will have to sit around and wait for a walk-in appointment. Dad's health has been failing, and recently he's been falling. The falls are becoming more frequent, and it's only a matter of time before he really hurts himself.
Apparently, he had an MRI several months ago but refuses to tell anyone what, if anything, was discovered. I've offered to take him to the doctor numerous times, but he refuses... until now.
I suspect he knows what's wrong and is too scared or stubborn or proud (take your pick) to tell us. I suspect he's either having strokes or some other neurological problems. I suspect he knows there's something seriously wrong.
I guess I might find out tomorrow, IF he wakes up in time and IF he actually consents to go with me and IF we get to see the doctor and IF she even tells me anything.
Any spare good vibes would be greatly appreciated.
Apparently, he had an MRI several months ago but refuses to tell anyone what, if anything, was discovered. I've offered to take him to the doctor numerous times, but he refuses... until now.
I suspect he knows what's wrong and is too scared or stubborn or proud (take your pick) to tell us. I suspect he's either having strokes or some other neurological problems. I suspect he knows there's something seriously wrong.
I guess I might find out tomorrow, IF he wakes up in time and IF he actually consents to go with me and IF we get to see the doctor and IF she even tells me anything.
Any spare good vibes would be greatly appreciated.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I think my legs are going to fall off
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh, I'm sorry. I fell asleep for a second. I'm exhausted!
Yesterday I had to cut my long run short a bit because I felt truly dreadful. I ended up doing 9.1 miles instead of 12ish, which means I have to do 12-13 next weekend and then taper for two weeks.
This morning I did a small 5K that a friend of mine put together. I wasn't confident about doing well because I had run yesterday afternoon, but I figured I'd do my best and see what happened.
Here's what happened:
7:34
7:45
7:35
:49
23:44, a 15 second PR!!! Even better, Jimmy W. told me the course was long by .03 because of where the police made him put the finish line, so he suggested that my actual 5K time was about 11 seconds faster. Swwweeeeeet!
As soon as the race ended, I walked to where Andrew was volunteering (at the 2-mile marker) to give him the good news, then jogged back to the finish to grab some goodies and rush over to the Y, where I taught a 90-minute spinning class.
Which brings me back to my original statement. I'm exhausted! :)
Oh, I'm sorry. I fell asleep for a second. I'm exhausted!
Yesterday I had to cut my long run short a bit because I felt truly dreadful. I ended up doing 9.1 miles instead of 12ish, which means I have to do 12-13 next weekend and then taper for two weeks.
This morning I did a small 5K that a friend of mine put together. I wasn't confident about doing well because I had run yesterday afternoon, but I figured I'd do my best and see what happened.
Here's what happened:
7:34
7:45
7:35
:49
23:44, a 15 second PR!!! Even better, Jimmy W. told me the course was long by .03 because of where the police made him put the finish line, so he suggested that my actual 5K time was about 11 seconds faster. Swwweeeeeet!
As soon as the race ended, I walked to where Andrew was volunteering (at the 2-mile marker) to give him the good news, then jogged back to the finish to grab some goodies and rush over to the Y, where I taught a 90-minute spinning class.
Which brings me back to my original statement. I'm exhausted! :)
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