The obligatory year-end list

Yes, that's right.  I'm joining the ranks of Resolution People.  I've never made New Year's resolutions before; instead, I've created a list of goals for the year.

Who am I kidding?  It's the same thing. 

So this year, I'm actually making Resolutions with a capital R.  Here they are (at least, the ones I've thought of so far).

1. Lose weight.  And since I know that specific goals are more likely achieved than vague goals like "lose weight" are, I will further specifiy that my resolution has two parts.
a) Lose 5 pounds by March 1.
b) Lose an additional 5-10 pounds by Memorial Day.

2. Put 50% more money in savings each month.  This is not as ambitious as it sounds, considering the paltry amount I am currently channeling into a savings account.  I can do better, and I will.

3. Make it to yoga at least twice a week.  Yes, I said at least twice. 

4. Renew my fitness teaching certification(s) and attend at least one continuing education seminar, workshop, class, or conference.  I need to get psyched about teaching again.

5. Go to bed earlier.  Even if I don't turn off the lights to (try to) sleep, I want to get snuggled under the covers and read for a while every night. 

6. Get a library card so I can read every night without spending a fortune at Barnes and Noble.  :)

7. Accept my body for what it CAN do and stop worrying about what it cannot do. 

Seven seems like a lucky number, so I'll stop there.  Seven resolutions.  I can do this. 

I must get this shirt!!

Senility is setting in

On Friday I received an email on my work email account.  As background, I work for a government agency, so my email address is available to anyone else in government who searches for it.  I also have a very long, unique, and memorable name... so I'm pretty easy to find.

Anyway, here is the email I received:

Subject: Hi!
Hi Theia,

I see your name popping up every now and then so just wanted to shoot you an email.
How are you? What are you up to these days?
I remember when you were [old job title] for the [other government agency].
I was homeschooling for a lot of years, but came back to [another government agency] 1.5 years ago.
Still playing any volleyball?
Can you believe we are this old now? :)
I sure don’t feel my age on the inside, but my poor old body does…hurt my back and down to walking and swimming only these last few months.
Best wishes for a Happy Holiday season, if I don’t get to run into you sometime.

And then her signature line was at the bottom. 

I know you're now thinking, "What is the point of this post?  That is a perfectly acceptable email." 

Here's the problem.  I have NO FREAKING IDEA who this person is.  I am totally serious.  This woman and her email are a complete mystery to me.  The fact that she knows so much about me is a little unsettling, to be honest.

- Where I used to work
- That I played competitive volleyball for a million years
- That I'm old, haha

I searched for her name on Facebook, and the picture that came up is a compete stranger.  (It might not be her, if there are more people with the same name of course). 

Do I respond?  If so, do I 'fess up and say, "Thanks for the really nice email, but who the fuck are you?"  OK, maybe not that.  "Thanks for the nice email, but I am drawing a blank...  Do I know you?" 

Seriously, what do I say??   I don't want to embarrass the poor girl, but at the same time who the heck is she???

This is driving me nuts, in case you couldn't tell.   Help! 

Thankful

Dear Blogger Friends,

Today is a day to give thanks, and I want to thank all of you.  That may seem odd, since I haven't met many of you in real life, but I am thankful for you just the same.

Thank you for the support, motivation, and encouragement you offer me on my blog, and for the inspiration, wit, and humor you provide on your own blogs.  I count all of you among my many blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Love,
Theia

Yes!

I got a fever! And the only prescription is...

... more races!

You knew this would happen, didn't you?  I have race fever.  All it took was being injured for four months.  Clearly, reverse psychology works on me, so the next time I whine about how I've lost my mojo and hate running and hate training, wah wah wah, just tell me I'm FORBIDDEN from doing it.  That will certainly cure me.

Assuming D doesn't mind since we're hosting the big dinner, I would like to do a 10K on Thanksgiving and then the same 10-miler I did last year on January 13.  After that, who knows?  I refuse to obsess about it until I need to I get through these two goals. 

Baby steps....

Weekend update

THE RACE:
Way better than I could have dreamed.  Originally, I was just hoping for sub-30 minutes.  Then I was hoping for 27+.  Then, after two good runs last week, I thought maybe MAYBE 26:xx.

Ready for this?

25:28!  And first in my age group!!!!  Unfortunately, we left immediately following the race because we were hosting a Halloween party the same night, so I think I missed out on a prize.  Of all the races to leave early!  A FLYERS prize, potentially!!!   Aaaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!  Still, 25:28 is faster than I could have imagined running.  Woo hooo!

THE STORM:
Luckily, we appear to have been spared the worst of it.  The rain started Sunday and still has not completely let up, but we still have power and have escaped major damage to our home and property.  All we're dealing with is water in our basement (every storm, so that's not a surprise) and a leaking front door (that one is new).  We are very lucky!!

Feeling slightly better about this running thing

This morning I dragged my butt out of bed and ran to the track -- not for a speed workout, but for a tempo one.  I figured the track was (a) easy to measure, and (b) softer than pavement.  It was also (c) boring and (d) dark, but what the hell.

After a particularly painful and hellacious 4 mile run on Saturday (followed by a much more enjoyable and far less painful 7.4 miler on Sunday, wtf?), I figured I'd be lucky to do a sub-30 minute 5K this weekend.  Secretly, I thought I might be able to do a sub-28 minute (right around 9 minute pace).

Well, this morning's run went way better than I expected.  Easy jog to the track, two miles in 17:07, even easier jog home.  As a result, I'm readjusting my goals and expectations for the race.  I think I can do a 26:30 or a little better, unless there are monster hills in the course that I am not aware of.  Certainly not my best time (not even close!), but not my worst either.  What a relief!! 

How to cram for a race in 10 days (or, This race is going to be ugly!)

Well, I have my big comeback race in 9 days.  And I can honestly say I am nowhere near ready for it.

Can I run the distance?  Sure. I mean, I did 7.5 miles on Sunday.  Slow miles, but 7.5 nonetheless.  No, my concern isn't the distance.  It's the tempo. 

As soon as I registered for the race, I did a track workout.  My intention was just to alternate faster laps with slower ones, but I felt so good that I ended up doing pseudo-400s instead.  Faster than I intended or expected, which is always a great surprise! 

The following week, I went back to the track for another workout -- the dreaded ladder.  It's my least favorite track workout, but it's a critical one because it gives you an idea of where your paces are AND forces you to run faster when you're more tired.  Due to time constraints, I cut one of the intervals out, the 1200 (which is by far my least favorite part of the least favorite workout, so you can see that I wasn't exactly crushed by the limited time, haha).  The workout went like this:

.6ish mile warmup jog to the track (yes, I live just over half a mile from a track!)
1600 in 7:55 (ummm, 7:55 pace)
800 in 3:45 (7:30 pace)
400 in 1:48 (7:15 pace)
2 x 200 in :48 and :46 (6:27 and 6:11 pace)
2 x 100 in :22 and :22 (5:55 pace)
.6ish mile cooldown jog home

At first, judging only by my watch, I was disappointed.  I used to do those 200s in 42 seconds!  And 100s in like 16 seconds.  And my fastest 400s (back in the day) were in the low 1:30 range.  Gawd, I SUCK.  And then I calculated the actual paces and realized that my times were pretty damn good for someone who is 1) coming back from a 4 month injury, and 2) older than dirt. 

Unfortunately, those 100s and 200s did a number on my glute.  It ached for the rest of the day and part of the next day, I'm sure due to the added force of landing hard and pushing off in addition to the longer stride I took during the sprints.  I dragged myself to yoga that night and to the pool the next morning, and that definitely helped.  I've been afraid to push the pace since then, however, and that's why I'm kind of dreading this race.  It won't be a race as much as a really expensive 3.1 miles with a couple hundred of my closest friends.  Ugh. 

I'm forcing myself to look at the bright side, however.  It's my first race in nearly 8 months and a great excuse to get decked out in Flyers gear for the first time all fall.  Speaking of which, this lockout simply must come to an end.  I am going through freaking withdrawal without hockey. 

This is a slightly happier post than it was yesterday when I first wrote it

I realized last night that I have been completely neglecting this blog (and my blogger friends).  Work is busy, life is busy, blah blah blah.  We're all busy.  I hate that excuse.

So I was going to take 2 minutes and post this afternoon.  The trouble is, I'm in a sad mood.  On Sunday, I found out that a former coworker -- a lively, vivacious, energetic, laugh-a-minute woman -- is dying of ovarian cancer.  I had seen a pic of her on FB in a hospital bed, but in the weeks since I've seen tons of pics of her looking like I remember.  Foolishly, I thought she was recovering...  until Sunday, when I realized that the recent pics were all being posted by her friends in her honor as she and the Hospice volunteers by her side wait for the inevitable.  She can't be more than 47-48 years old.  It's just not fair.

And then today, I randomly thought of someone from my past that I haven't seen in years.  He was a customer of mine at my high school job in an ice cream parlor (best job ever), and over the years we had run into each other a few times.  He was a really nice man who had endured more than his fair share of hardship.  I googled him... and the first three hits were his obituary from January of this year.  I feel awful that I didn't google him a year ago and maybe get in touch with him one more time.  He was 64.  RIP, Len.

UPDATE:
I thought I had lost a third person, but it turned out that I was mistaken.  (Long story.)  That brings me back to the original point of this blog post.  Growing older definitely has its advantages: more wisdom, less anxiety about what other people think (in fact, I pretty much don't give a crap anymore), more peace and self-awareness. It's not all sunshine and roses, of course.  Growing older also means wrinkles, gray hair, slowing metabolism, potential health issues, and, by far the worst of it all, losing people you love more regularly and frequently.   I can't say I truly loved either of the people I mentioned above -- I didn't know them that well -- but I truly liked both of them and am sorry that their time has been cut short.  There are many others, though, that are gone that I did truly love... and the older I get, the more I realize that this is just the way it's going to be from now on.

That's hard to accept.  It's not so much my mortality that concerns me.  It's my loved ones' mortality.  :(

Comeback race!!!

Dear Theia,

Thank you for registering for the Flyers Charities Halloween 5K Fun
Run & Walk on Saturday, October 27, 2012.

And the team rejoices at my return to racing!!!!

Slow progress, but progress nonetheless

Last week at PT: The therapist had me run on the regular treadmill (rather than the anti-gravity treadmill). It reinforced how much I hate running on treadmills. :) However, it went fine, so he said I could run 20-25 minutes on a flat trail on Sunday. If that went well and did not cause any problems, I could do it again Monday or Tuesday (but not both days).

Sunday: I drove to the trail and started my run. At 15 minutes, I glanced at my watch and said, "Oh HELL no, I'm not stopping in 5 minutes!" My original plan was to run for 30 minutes: long enough to be worth it, but not too much longer than prescribed. I felt so good that I decided to do the same 4.5 mile course I'd done two weeks before (illegally). The first time I did it, it took me 46+ minutes. This time, it took me 42!

Tuesday: Mother Nature did not cooperate. Not only did I not feel well, but there were also tornado warnings until 7 p.m., so I did not run. :(

Wednesday: I taught my outdoor boot camp class as a sub (I was a sub for my own class... that makes sense only in Theia World!). Since I hadn't run since Sunday, I wasn't worried about overdoing it. I mean, I was allowed to run one more time anyway, right? What I forgot to factor in was the surface... My glute was tender all day, even though we did the short route (3.25 miles) at a fairly easy pace and stopped for 2 minute drills four times. At PT last night, I admitted what I'd done and how I felt as a result.

The new presciption:
- 30 minutes of trail running every other day.
- No PT for two weeks. I'm on my own to see how I do!
- After the first week, I can add a tiny bit of road running in the middle of a trail run (so run on the trail, go onto the road a little bit, then go back to the trail to finish up).
- My PT appointment in two weeks will likely be my last one, unless I need to go in for some help.

So close to the end now..... So close! Basically, the only thing I'm not cleared for is road running. Well, and running more than 30 minutes at a time!

Progress!!!! I'll take it!

Internal struggle

Several years ago, I made the decision to go mostly vegetarian. I say mostly because every once in a while I would still have red meat or fish if my body felt like it needed it, but never chicken or pork because I was really disgusted with how they are treated and transported. (Plus, pigs are just cute.)

I felt like a hypocrite, though. I won't eat pork because pigs are cute, but I will eat fish because, presumably, they're not cute? What does that say about me and my character? It was a real struggle.

For the most part, I didn't miss meat or poultry at all. There were plenty of other choices -- fruits, vegetables, salads, pasta, breads, chocolate, ice cream, candy, milkshakes...

Wait, what was I talking about?????

I lived -- live -- on carbs. I try to make good choices -- whole grain breads and pastas, fresh produce every day, veggies mixed into pasta. I scoffed at all the people jumping on the gluten bandwagon. I mean, less than 1% of the population has celiac disease, but I personally know at least 10 people who claim to have it? Not likely.

Recently, though, I've been reading about how grains are not what they seem and definitely aren't the healthy option I've always thought they were. Wheat and other grains are now hybridized and contain THREE TIMES as much gluten as they used to. Why is this a problem? You know how sometimes you are hungry and you eat something, only to be hungry again afterward? It's not in your imagination. Apparently, this hybridized wheat contains an additive that MAKES YOU CRAVE MORE WHEAT AND SUGAR. Yes, wheat stimulates your appetite and can lead to addictive eating behaviors like cravings and bingeing.

WTF????? That sounds WAY too familiar.

So now I'm left with a vegan diet (not going to happen) or adding meats back in. How do I balance my physical health with my mental health? I love animals. I don't want them to die so that I can have a meal. Seriously, in Theia World everyone would get by on fruits and nuts. I don't want to eat poultry and meat, but it turns out it's probably healthier for me to do so. This is so upsetting to me that I'm actually crying as I type this.

Help me rationalize this. Help me be OK with it, because it's mentally really hard for me to accept that I may have to go off carbs and back onto meats.

Right after I finish this garlic bread, that is.

This is not happening

After my impromptu run on Saturday, I felt great. Better than great. No pain in the glute or back, my legs felt nice and tight from running, and my head and heart were so happy. I was able to do a hilly 35-mile bike ride on Sunday with no problem and jump up and down for several hours at the Made In America Festival Sunday afternoon/night. Great, right?

So yesterday I decided to do a test run (no pun intended) of my Wednesday a.m. boot camp class, in which we run a 3-4 mile loop and stop every few minutes to do boot camp drills like squats, burpees, pushups, mountain climbers, etc. My idea was to run a slow mile on the treadmill, hop off and do some leg/butt/core exercises, and then repeat two more times. My glute starting aching almost immediately, so the first interval on the treadmill was only .75 and included a minute of walking. I didn't want to push too much, so the second interval on the treadmill was .82 (no walking). By the time I got to the third run, I was able to do the whole mile without any problem. The exercises I chose were HARD and included a few of the ones I do in PT -- a pivoting plie/lunge combo, lunge and knee lift, squat with leg lift, walking side squats with a band around my ankles, bridges and hamstring curls on the stability ball. Good stuff.

Only.... My knee has been killing me ever since. KILLING me. I iced it last night while watching the U.S. Open (during which everyone I was rooting for LOST). I barely got any quality sleep because I was so upset about it. It still hurt at 5:15 this morning, so I skipped my workout in favor of more sleep time (haha, I still haven't learned that that NEVER works). It's semi-OK now, but then again I haven't really done anything so far today.

(Please note that that is not my knee. My legs are not that hairy, thankyouverymuch.)

So now my glute is healing but my left knee is falling apart??? This is SO not one of the options.

The trouble is, I can't specify what caused the problem:
- Running too much too soon?
- Running on the treadmill?
- The squats and lunges?
- My new shoes (unlikely since they're the same model I always wear)?
- Old age????
- Karma for cheating on my PT by running twice?

Seriously. Not an option. I am beyond miserable about this.

Shhh, don't tell my PT

I ran this morning. And it was heavenly!

It was the first time I have cheated on my PT, and while I did feel a bit guilty, I clearly didn't feel bad enough to stop. I did a few miles on a nice flat trail (some small rollers, but really no hills to speak of). I kept the pace nice and easy, and I promised myself I would stop and walk immediately if anything felt off.

Well, there was no need to stop and walk. My glute held up just fine, and my endurance was great thanks to all the biking and swimming. Oh how wonderful it was to be out there!! I'm a runner again!!!

Tunes are my life, part 2

Last week I posted a mostly complete list of all the concerts I've been to. (I'm sure I missed some, even with my brother and husband helping to fill in the blanks.)

Today's lists are a bit different.

Concerts I have not seen but would like to:
Madonna
Prodigy
Chemical Brothers
Tool
Foo Fighters
Stone Temple Pilots

Concerts I'm heartbroken that I'll never see:
Beastie Boys
Stevie Ray Vaughan
The Beatles
Talking Heads
Queen
Nirvana
The Smiths
LED ZEPPELIN (#1 on the list by far)

Oh Lance, why???

Why are you giving up? Do you realize that it may cause some people (OK, a lot of people) to assume that you're guilty after all? You've maintained all along that you're clean. You're the most tested athlete in history and passed every test with flying colors. Why give up now? If you're truly innocent, FIGHT. And keep fighting. And keep believing. Because you know what? You're an inspiration to thousands of people. Millions. We believe in you, and we believe anything is possible because of you.

You got cancer, and you fought back, and you won.

You endured the most grueling endurance test on earth, and you fought hard, and you won. SEVEN TIMES.

You have faced accusations and half-truths and downright lies. And you fought back. You submitted to every test they threw at you. And you won. You passed all those tests. Blood tests, urine tests, random tests. Your samples were all clean.

I know you're tired of fighting. I do understand that feeling, although I can't say I've been through anything like what you've been through all these years. I know it's exhausting. And expensive. And frustrating.

But you're LANCE FREAKING ARMSTRONG.

If you won't fight, who will?

And if you're giving up because you really did cheat, and you've been bamboozling us all along, I want you to know that I'm devastated. I believed in you. I defended you whenever anyone said anything negative. I stayed glued to the tv and Internet during the Tour all those years and cheered for you. I bought your story, every word of it. Now that you're giving up and giving in, I have to wonder if my allegiance was misplaced.

Tunes are my life

A former boss once called me First Name "Tunes Are My Life" Last Name. She didn't know me that well, but it was a very astute observation. I love music. LOVE it.

Last night in physical therapy, my therapist and I started talking about concerts we've been to. His list was impressive, and when I went home I started brainstorming and trying to remember all the shows I've seen. Here is the list I've come up with so far. I'm sure there are accidental omissions. (Maybe my brother will pick up on any that are missing!) An asterisk denotes someone I've seen multiple times.

In no particular order....

KISS (first concert ever, in 6th grade... yes, my mom ROCKS)
J. Geils Band
Journey
The Hooters *
The Rolling Stones
English Beat *
UB40
INXS *
Genesis
Elvis Costello
Blondie
U2 *
Pearl Jam *
Eddie Vedder
Muse
Fine Young Cannibals
REM *
LL Cool J
Prince *
Duran Duran *
Hall & Oates *
Rick Springfield
The Cure
Big Audio Dynamite
Eurythmics
Billy Idol
Thompson Twins
Average White Band
The Temptations
The Four Tops
Depeche Mode *
Paul McCartney
Michael McDonald
New Order *
Kings of Leon
Adam and the Ants
The B-52s
Andreas Vollenweider
Interpol
George Dalaras *
Yiannis Plutarhos *
Perry Danos
War
Queen Latifah
Harry Connick Jr.
Angelique Kidjo
George Clinton & Parliament *
Tito Puente
Buckwheat Zydeco *
Buddy Guy
B.B. King
Luther Vandross
Basia
Brian Setzer Orchestra
Mr. Mister
Howard Jones
Peggy Lee
Robert Hazard
Aztec Camera
Ben Harper
Orquestra de Guitarres de Barcelona
Chuck Wicks
Julianne Hough
Run DMC
Drake

RuPaul
Psychedelic Furs

You can totally see that I'm a child of the 80s based on that list! :)

Some tip's for you

What is the fascination with apostrophe's used for plural word's? It seem's to be a thing now. Let's review, shall we?

Apostrophe - indicates possession, like Steve's car or the building's facade.

Apostrophe - also indicates a contraction (the omission of one or more letters to join two words into one), such as can't, won't, don't, isn't, and I'm.

Plural - indicates more than one.

Apostrophe to indicate a plural - just wrong.

See how ridiculous the first two sentences in this post look? (As well as the post title.) They're a's ridiculou's a's thi's sentence i's.

Top 10 Olympic Moments

10. The lighting of the torch at the end of the opening ceremony, with petals representing each competing country making up the Olympic torch. What a nice way to incorporate all of the countries.

9. The Chinese divers. They are in a class of their own.

8. Gabby Douglas' smile. Get this girl a Colgate endorsement!!

Seriously, could she BE any cuter?

7. Volleyball! I don't care who is playing... Those games are phenomenal. (I'm talking about the indoor competition.) Watching them play makes me miss my vball days.

6. Did anyone watch Jordan Jovtchev, the 39 year-old Bulgarian gymnast? Yes, that says 39. He competed in the men's rings final in his SIXTH Olympics.

5. The down-to-the-final-moment team competition in women's gymnastics. A total nailbiter, but worth staying up late for.

4. TWELVE-PACK ABS! Holy schmoley these women are specimens!

I need to spend more time at the track, clearly.

3. Phelps Phelps Phelps!!! Thank you, Michael, for inspiring so many of us with your commitment, intensity, grace, humility, and unbelievable talent.

2. For the first and only time in Olympics history, "Firestarter" by Prodigy was featured in the opening ceremony (audio and video). Loved it!



1. And finally, my #1 Olympics moment of 2012: Kirani James asks Oscar Pistorius to exchange bibs after their 400m semifinal heat. "He's an inspiration for all of us," James said. "He's very special to our sport. He's a great individual — it's time we see him like that and not anything else."

THIS is what the Olympics are all about.

Something strange is going on

I have never been a morning person. In fact, when I was younger and more self-centered, I was occasionally downright putrid in the morning -- unpleasant, irritable, moody, and ready to snap at whatever poor soul crossed my path. (Ugh. That's pretty embarrassing to admit.)

Over the past two years or so, as life has become increasingly busy and insomnia has refused to release me from its grasp, I have turned myself into a morning workout person. Most days, when the alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m., I get up and get it done. After work, I'm just too tired, too busy, too over-committed to work out, so the mornings seem to work better for me.

However, recently I've skipped some morning workouts because I just cannot drag myself out of bed at 5:30. That extra hour of sleep is too appealing... too persuasive. "Stay in bed," it tells me. "Sleep!"

The trouble is, I don't sleep. I end up tossing and turning for that hour, getting 5 or 10 minutes of sleep before waking up again, looking at the clock in exasperation, and trying again. When the alarm goes off and I get up for good, I feel FAR worse than I would have if I'd just gotten up and worked out, fercrissakes. For the rest of the day, I'm groggy, unfocused, lethargic, and fighting to stay awake. It happened Tuesday, and it's happening again today.

So my question is this. Do I feel this way because of the ill-fated extra hour of non-sleep? Or because of the skipped workout? In other words, is there something physiological about working out in the morning that really, truly gives you more energy throughout the day? I mean, I know it feels that way, but is that real or just a placebo effect?

Walking on the moon

Giant steps are what you take
Walking on the moon
~ The Police

Yesterday, my PT said those seven words every girl dreams of hearing. "Today, we're putting you on the treadmill."

This treadmill, to be exact.

After all the hands-on stretching, strengthening, and torturing, I got to zip myself into the Anti-Gravity treadmill. First you have to pull on these shorts that are very much like a wetsuit, but with a huge zipper dangling out of the front. Then you step into the treadmill and get zipped into the plastic casing. When you turn the treadmill on, the plastic fills with air. (Now I know what it feels like inside a balloon.)

We set the treadmill at 80% of body weight, and I was off. 1 minute walking (3.5 to 4 mph), 2 minutes jogging (6 mph), five sets for 15 minutes total. To be honest, 80% of body weight didn't feel THAT different, other than the whole sausage-in-its-casing deal with all the air and the wetsuit shorts, so I asked if I could try it at a lower body weight when I was done. He lowered it to 50%, and suddenly I was bouncing, barely touching the belt! So cool!!! Walking on the moon!

And the running? Minimal pain the glute, and what little pain I did have was more like a pinch. Today? No pain at all. Slight tingling in my glute and upper hamstring this morning, but otherwise I'm ready to go again. YES!

And even more YES... I'm down 7 pounds. :) (Not from the walk/jog yesterday, although wouldn't THAT be something? 7 pounds in general since mid-June.)

The accidental run

My office is next to an elementary school, and when I leave the parking lot I drive right by the playing fields. Yesterday, as I was heading out, I noticed a football rolling down the street. I also noticed two children in the field, so I pulled over and asked if the football was theirs. It was.

So I hopped out of my car, jogged down the street to retrieve the football, threw the worst spiral ever over the fence to the kid who was closer, jogged back to my car, and headed home.

Wait. Let's review that sentence again.

I jogged down the street, threw the football, and jogged back to my car. Without any thought or intention, like it was the most natural thing in the world. And, more importantly, without any pain. I didn't even realize what I'd done until I was a block or so away, at which point I thought, "OMG! I ran! I ran and didn't feel anything! I ran!!!!"

It's been more than 9 weeks since the injury occured and more than 6 weeks since I last ran. Think I'm getting a bit restless? :)

I told this story to my physical therapist last night, and he said I will start running on the anti-gravity treadmill next week. Probably just 1-2 minutes at a time, interspersed with walking, but can I get a WOO HOO????

Relaxed. Restored.

What is it about 8 days at the shore that can make all your worries and problems seem to disappear?

And given that that's the case, why don't I live there year-round???

My family and I spent 8 glorious days at the Jersey Shore. Not the stupid Jersey Shore from the tv show; we were several hours south of those knuckleheads, thankyouverymuch. My shore town is an idyllic, peaceful, quiet family town. We've been vacationing there since I was about 6, and I can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather go. It's where I want to retire someday. Where I want my children and grandchildren to go so they can enjoy the same wonderful memories I've enjoyed all these years.

Last week we had some really, really hot days and some dreary, drizzly days. We ate the best icecream in the world (Springer's Homemade Ice Cream) four times. I biked four times, did a freestanding, unassisted headstand in yoga (my first!), walked everywhere, frolicked in the ocean, tanned, ate, slept, relaxed, and generally felt like I was in heaven for a short time.

Coming back was really, really hard.

The comments I'm posting on other blogs are disappearing into Internet-World

This is happening with more and more frequency... I post a comment on someone's blog, and it either (a) never shows up, or (b) shows up and then disappears.

So either people are deleting my comments (sad face) or they're being gobbled up by the Internet for some strange reason. (The comments, not the bloggers.)

In either case, I feel badly that the comments I'm leaving aren't being seen by the bloggers. I know I love to read everyone's comments. It sort of validates what I wrote, you know? I therefore assume that other bloggers like to receive comments as well. This whole blogging thing works best when there's feedback, I think.

Anyway, if you've deleted my comment, then I don't know what to say about that. But if you haven't, then I apologize that it didn't work for whatever reason, and I hope you know that I do enjoy reading all your blogs and keeping up on what's going on with all of you.

Funny how things work out

Not funny as in haha. I don't want you to think you're going to read this post and chuckle all the way through, thinking, "Oh that Theia. She is SO funny! What a wonderfully brilliant sense of humor she has!"

Not that kind of funny.

More like ironic funny. Because if you remember, a few months ago I was ready to sell my bike and never ride it again. I just wasn't enjoying cycling, didn't want to train for races, and felt an overwhelming sense of "why bother?"

Then on May 23, while teaching one of my classes, I tore my glute. You already know about that. And THEN, on June 29, also while teaching a class, I strained my lower back. Now, the back problem is related to the glute; weakness in my glute caused my back to give out because all the other muscles in my right side had been working overtime to compensate for the glute, and at that moment my lower back had had enough, apparently.

No running for me, obviously. But guess what I can still do?

You got it. Ride my bike.

So instead of selling my bike, I've spent nearly $600 on it this summer! New bike rack for my car, new pump, and new pedals, clips, insoles, and shoes. What the ?? I thought I was going to MAKE money off this blasted thing! Not so much, huh?

But can you imagine if I had indeed sold it? No running, no biking, no sustained exercise of any kind. I would be even more of a miserable wretch than I already am! (Now THAT's a scary thought!)

Mike asked, I answer

Mike's comment reminded me that I never provided an eye update. Sorry!

I did call the doc last week (after much urging from my blogger friends and IRL friends). The nurse basically said if it's not impacting my vision or about to burst, just wait 'til Monday's appointment. If I needed assistance before then, go to a walk-in clinic. Okaaaaaaaaaay.

By the time Monday's appointment rolled around, there was vast improvement in the swelling situation above my eye. Even today, there's still a lump, but now it's the size of a well-used pencil eraser. Last week, it was the size of a very ripe, plump blueberry. The doc saw that there's still something there and told me to (a) leave it alone, (b) monitor it for another few weeks, (c) stop touching it already!, and (d) go to an opthamologist if it doesn't disappear on its own. The opthomologist would likely remove it (eeeeek!) and perform some plastic surgery to minimize scarring or, worse, damage to the eye itself.

So there you have it. I just wait and see. (I'm sooooooo good at that. Not.)

This profanity-laden post is not safe for work. Or kids. Or anyone.

Seriously. F bombs galore. Read at your own risk. I'm not kidding. It's not a pretty post.

You're really going through with it? You're going to read it anyway? OK, don't say I didn't warn you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm pissed. You know that post about how much better I feel about myself, how my clothes are fitting better, how I feel tighter and more toned?

It was all bullshit, apparently.

I went to the doctor yesterday (finally!) for my glute and eye. Of course, as they always do regardless of the reason for your appointment, they weighed me. I have GAINED two pounds. Fucking WHAT?

OK, so take off a few pounds for clothes, lunch, etc. Still two pounds higher than the other doctor's scale this spring (my all-time highest weight), and that was freaking appalling then. Two pounds more equals... what's worse than appalling? Atrocious? Abysmal?

Inexcusable is what it is. Totally and completely inexcusable.

Making matters worse, he said absolutely no running. How the hell am I going to lose this weight if I can't do the #1 thing that helps me lose weight?

Fuck that bitch Mother Nature and her asshole cousin Slowing Metabolism. I hate them both.

Cut me, Mick

"You gotta cut me, Mick. Cut me."

That's basically what I look like right now. OK, minus the blood and stuff. I have this... thing. I don't know what it is. It may have been a little tiny ingrown eyebrow hair or something originally, but of course I picked at it and now I've created this mass of awfulness -- ON MY FACE.

It's hard like a little pebble, right under the skin, right above my left eye. Lovely. And of course it's infected, I guess, because it's all swollen and red and irritated. And HUGE. My eye is nearly swollen shut from the weight of it.

WTF???

I'm painting a beautiful picture, aren't I?

Here's the kicker. I know I should call the doctor. The logical part of me knows that. But what if he says I can't wear any makeup? Or, even worse, can't go out in the sun this weekend??? I mean, I wait all year for summer, and then I wait all week to be able to just lay in the sun for a few hours on the weekend. It's relaxing, and I find it enjoyable. Yes, I wear sunscreen (SPF 15, even though I'm olive-complected to begin with, and 30 on my face). Yes, I have a hat to put on when I've had enough. And yes, I limit my time in the sun -- maybe only 90 minutes to two hours each day, weather permitting.

And yes, I know it's not good for me. But you know what? It's my only vice. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I'm one of the 13 people in the entire universe that's never done ANY drugs, not even a puff. I eat well, exercise regularly, maintain a healthy weight, and do all the right stuff. So if I want to get a little tan in the summer, I don't feel too badly about it.

Wait, this post was supposed to be about my hideous disfigurement! Hello, random thought process!

So anyway. Doctor or no doctor?

If you want to kick your own ass, do this workout

Oof, I'm still feeling this from Monday morning!

Tabata Interval Workout
Do 20 seconds on/10 seconds recovery x 8 for four minutes of each exercise. (So do 8 sets of heels (20 on/10 off), then 8 sets of lunges, then 8 sets of dips, etc.) Do each complete round before taking any kind of significant break for water, etc.

Round 1:
quick heels or toe taps on a step
alternating lunges onto a step
dips
Russian twist holding a medicine ball

Round 2:
burpees
squats w/ body bar over shoulders
pushups
full roll-ups holding body bar overhead with arms extended

Round 3:
jump lunges
curtsey lunges
bicep curls w/ body bar
plank

Yeeeouch! The jump lunge + curtsey lunge combo is what did me in, I think. My legs are trashed! In a good way, of course. I love that feeling of "Oh yeah, I kicked ass in that workout." Pain is sort of a weird badge of honor.

I do feel badly for the three new people who decided to take their first boot camp class that morning. They must be cursing me!

Amazing but true news! I have discovered the secret to weight loss!

And it involves two very narrow wheels!

I am pretty much not running right now. It hurts way too much and for way too long after the fact (case in point: Tuesday morning's slow-ass 3.5 mile jog caused Tuesday night's vinyasa yoga class to nearly make me scream in pain and still caused some discomfort during Wednesday morning's swim). Even though I'm not racing this year -- really, I'm not... even though I really really want to, now that I basically can't (wtf?) -- I decided I needed to haul my fat ass on my bike to at least keep my cardio conditioning relatively high. That way, if I'm ever able to run without pain again, I won't die after a mile or two.

So I've been keeping up with the biking -- the part of my sport that has become my least favorite, the part that frankly I thought I'd never do again. (Remember the hockey post? I seriously thought about selling my bike to get the money to buy all the hockey equipment I need. That's how disenchanted I'd become with cycling.)

Let's get one thing straight. I'm not spending hours and hours and miles and miles on my bike. I'm doing one short ride and one long ride per week, and by long I mean 30ish miles. Basically, the rides replaced runs in my schedule. But somehow, those rides have made the difference in how I look and feel. We threw away yet another unreliable scale this spring, so I have no idea how much I weigh right now. I was at my all-time heaviest when the scale throwing-away took place, however, and I know I'm lighter and tighter than I was then.

Best of all, I'm fitting into my size sixes again. As a curvy and muscular woman of 5'9" (sniff! already old enough to be shrinking and down an inch from my former height of 5'10"), I am thrilled to be able to squeeze into a 6!

So, the moral of the story is... get on your damn bike and ride like the wind, people! Assuming you're like me, that is, and are stuck in the eternal and frustrating cycle of never being quite satisfied with your weight.

Note to self: add a third ride each week.

It's not in my head

I have two small tears in my right leg -- one in my hamstring, toward the outside, and one in my glute.

Damn.

Life is good

The Greek Festival started today!


















Dolmades and spanakopita and baklava, oh my!

It's June already?? What?

Remember when you were younger, and it seemed like everything took forevah?? And grownups (read: OLD people) complained about how quickly time was passing?

Yeah, now I'm that old person. Awesome!

Sarcasm over. I'm having some trouble with my right leg -- unrelated to old age, thankyouverymuch. It started as a very deep, very acute pain in my glute. Like, deep deep deep in the glute, down low near where the glute and hamstring attach. I know it bothered me on that hell run Saturday, but I can't for the life of me remember when it actually started.

I didn't run again until Wednesday, and from the very first step it was there again. Every time my right leg would stride forward, whammo! Pain. All day Wednesday, I had to walk in a modified limp, as I realized that I could reduce the pain if I bent my knee less. So I was walking fairly normally with my left leg, but with my right leg almost straight at all times.

By Thursday, the pain had travelled way south to right behind my right kneecap -- that tendon that attaches the knee to the hamstring. Holy mother of........ Hurt like hell all day! In yoga, I couldn't straighten my right leg at all. Great, so Wednesday I could barely bend my knee for the pain, and Thursday I couldn't do anything BUT bend my knee.

Today is a little better... Maybe yoga helped? Also not running since Wednesday morning? So what am I going to do after work? Run, of course. Wish me luck!

Random thoughts from the long weekend

1. Watching loved ones grow older and weaker is really difficult and sad.
2. My husband is a total rock star for building us a new shed and tearing down the old shed (which proved to be far more sturdy than we'd thought) in 90+ degree heat while never once complaining about having to spend so much time and energy doing so.
3. It's a really, really bad idea to attempt an 8-mile run in full sun with a faster friend when it's already nearly 10 a.m. and brutally hot. Seriously, worst run of my life. If that had been my first run, I would have thrown my shoes away and never attempted another run, ever.
4. Bikram yoga = meh. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I think I prefer a more flowing style of yoga. Sure, I sweat a lot during the class, but that wasn't from any exertion, just the heat. My heartrate got up, but again, that could have been just the heat.
5. Roasted asparagus is the bomb.
6. So is the first corn on the cob of the season!
7. There is nothing like an old friend. Nothing. Yes, I'm talking to you, JSL!!! xoxox

Happy Memorial Day

For many of us, Memorial Day means the unofficial start of summer, a day off from work, cookouts, perhaps a trip out of town, and a deadline for being bikini (or Speedo?) ready. Let's not forget the real meaning of Memorial Day -- remembering those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we can live in freedom in the greatest country on earth.

Thank you, veterans and families. It is an honor to salute you!

Good news/bad news

The bad news is that after choosing my races for this year and finally drawing up my training schedule yesterday with the intent of starting today, I skipped my workout this morning.

Really? Already cheating on Day One? What a loser.

The good news is that I am having a good hair day. So I got that going for me. (Which is nice.)

Lesson learned

If Person A typically runs at a 7:00 to 7:15 pace and Person B typically runs at anywhere from 8:45 to 9:15 pace, it would be foolish for Person B to think that they might be able to run just one mile with an injured Person A. Because here's what will happen: Person A will kick Person B's ass in that mile. Seriously.

Saturday I biked with a friend who is a rockstar of a runner. Like, she wins races. Not just wins her age group. She WINS the whole race. She's recovering from two injuries and just started running a little last week, so after our ride I suggested a very short brick -- just a mile -- at, and I quote myself, "my pokey pace." She was game, so we changed shoes in the Y parking lot and set off. I knew before we even got out of the lot that I was in trouble.

Here's her: la la la this is great la la la i love running la la la.
Here's me: huff huff omg huff i'm dying huff huff wtf was i thinking? huff huff........

Neither of us had a watch, but by my estimation we did 1.22 miles in something like 9 minutes (7:23 pace). Fastest mile I've done in close to a year.

Quite possibly the best dog ever

I admit I'm biased. I think my pets are the cutest, smartest, best pets in the history of the world.

But last night I met what has to be the best behaved dog EVAH. Check him out.

Yes, you are seeing that right. He is sitting on the chair at an outdoor table, looking like he's waiting for the server to come over to take his order, while his leash is just laying on the table. Meanwhile, his person was in the restaurant getting dinner to go. Doggy posed not only for my picture but for another passer-by (also going to the yoga studio nextdoor) and wagged his tail happily when both of us pet him and told him how good he was.

Seriously. The cutest thing I've seen in weeks!!

Tomorrow night

I have happy news to share!

Tomorrow night D and I take a huge step: a meeting with an adoption agency to begin the process of adopting a newborn.

More info to come, but for now we'll take all the good wishes and positive mojo we can get! (But save some... We'll definitely need more later on in the process when the waiting becomes interminable and the fees astronomical.)

A good run? I'd forgotten what those were like!

I knew yesterday's run was a little zippier than usual. I could feel it. Maybe it was the cooler temperature. Maybe it was the constant drizzle of rain (good motivation to be done sooner, right?). Maybe it was the slightly shortened route. Maybe it was the awesome bike ride with M on Saturday -- and the more awesome recovery drink AND chocolate milk afterward. (The final hill was so brutal I needed two recoveries!)

Whatever the reason, I felt pretty good out there yesterday morning. I didn't realize until logging my run just now, though, that I actually WAS pretty good out there. My first sub-9 pace on a run longer than one hour in I can't even tell you how long. Good to know I'm still capable of a good run... once in a while!

So, you know by now that I'm a complete hockey fanatic

Have been since I was a kid. I can thank my brother for that. When we were very young (about 4 and 7), he discovered the Flyers on our one television and decided that's what we were watching. So that's what we watched! Since then, I have been a Flyers fanatic of course, but also a huge fan of the whole sport.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise, then, that I finally picked up a stick and some skates and took a lesson. Yep, that's right folks -- my new challenge is women's ice hockey.

In my first lesson (last Friday), I learned stopping, puck handling, skating backward, different skating techniques, and, most importantly, SHOOTING! The lesson ended with drills where I had to skate all the way up the ice with the puck and then take a shot at the goal area (there was no net in place, but of course the crease is still blue so you know where to shoot).

Lessons are a bit of reach for me on a regular basis, as far as cost, so tonight I'm going to the coach's open clinic. Less money, but of course also less personal attention. That's OK. This is just for fun, so I'm thrilled to be on the ice playing the game I love so much.

And since it's game day...

LET'S GO FLYERS!!

Believe

My mom totally rocks

If you know me in real life, you know that one of my favorite announcements is that I won the Mom Lottery. No lie. Check this out.

As a partial season ticket holder for the Flyers, I had early access to playoff tickets. Since you have to buy them so far in advance, you don't know the schedule -- or even the opponent -- when you fork over your money. You just buy tickets for Round 1, Home Game 2 or whatever.

So I bought some tix for me and my brother, and I bought an additional game for D and me -- Round 1, Home Game 1. When the schedules were announced, we realized that Round 1, Home Game 1 falls on April 15 -- Orthodox Easter, a day we have plans with family at a halfway point in a neighboring state. Since my brother lives in the opposite direction, D and I also have the responsibility of driving my mom to and from.

So what did Mom do when she had time to digest all of this?

She volunteered to wait in the car while D and I go to the game. Actually, it was more like she insisted that she wait in the car with a book and the new O magazine so that we didn't have to sell the tix.

Seriously? Who does that? I mean, when we were 14 and couldn't drive, yes whichever parent had carpool duty waited outside the games, concerts, etc. More than 30 years later, there is no way in hell I'm making my mom sit outside for 3+ hours in the car while we are inside.

Still, how much does she ROCK for offering??

I think she dissed me!

Yesterday after work I went to the swim shop to pick up a new suit for my lap swims. My old one (while not that old) is starting to decay from the chlorine, so I figured I'd see what was on sale or in the grab box.

The (young -- college-aged) girl who was working at the counter said hi but didn't jump on me as soon as I walked in (don't you hate when they do that?), instead allowing me to meander through the store until I found what I was looking for. At that point, she asked if I needed help. I said no, I was looking for a suit for laps and found them, so now I was just looking for sizes.

She came over to me then and told me that "a lot of people" don't like the suits I was perusing because they are competition suits and, "you know, they're cut high on the leg and, like, low in the back." Instead, she pointed me toward another rack of suits that "a lot of people" prefer.

They were freaking OLD LADY SUITS. You know, the ones with low leg openings and/or skirts. And cups in the chest. I mean, they had boobs built in! THAT's what she thought I would want to swim laps in????

And then it hit me. She thought *I* was an old lady! An old lady who swims in a flowered swim cap in a 90 degree orthopedic pool and does 200 yards and then calls it a day. You know, in her modest but sensible navy blue cupped swimsuit.

I should have slashed her tires or something. No jury would have convicted me.

Achoo!

This photo pretty much sums up my life right now.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you I am allergic to nearly everything (and, as a result, I also have allergy-related asthma). When I had allergy testing done a few years ago, there were seven items on the list of 48 potential allergens that I WASN'T allergic to. All the rest caused a moderate to severe reaction.

Fun, huh?

We bought a scale

No batteries for it yet, though, which is good because I'm afraid to step on it! :)

I got my ass handed to me last night

At yoga, of all places!

I should explain that I am a sweater. I don't glow. I don't glisten. I don't get moist when I exert myself. I sweat. Like a dude, quite frankly.

So anyway, last night I met a friend, G, for vinyasa yoga and sushi. Oh, what a glorious combination! The owner of the studio is a good friend of mine. We met nearly 20 years ago when she used to take my classes at the Y! I swear she exacts her revenge on me whenever I come to her class.

G and I decided we'd go to dinner as is after class, so I brought a thin cotton 3/4 sleeve shirt and a long black lightweight cardigan to throw over my yoga clothes and make myself presentable.

But then I sweat more than any human being should ever sweat in a yoga class. It was warm in the studio, but it wasn't a Hot Yoga class. Nevertheless, I was literally dripping sweat about 10 minutes into class, and it only got worse from there. My mat was covered with little droplets. At one point, in side angle pose, the sweat was dripping into my ear and pooling there. It was dripping into my eyes, making them sting.

The sweating was so bad that my hands and feet were slipping on my mat. So bad that I had to spray and wipe my mat twice after class to disinfect it.

So bad that I had to buy a new top to wear to dinner because my cute black yoga top was so drenched that it would make my cotton top and sweater soaked through within minutes. Yes, I had to buy new clothes because mine were so sweaty. That's a brutal class, ladies and gentlemen.

I loved it. :)

Look out! I'm a tv star!

Ladies night out at Flyers' Hockey 'n Heels

She shoots, she scores!!!

Last night I did something on my bucket list. I shot a puck on Flyers ice (and made two of three shots!). The Flyers hosted the first Hockey & Heels event for women only, and Sauconrunner and I went. We got to tour the locker rooms and tunnels the players walk through, ask questions of a player (more on that later), some wives, one of the game broadcasters, and a female sports reporter (wish I was her!), pose on the zamboni and in the penalty box, and more. All in all, it was loads of fun. Of course, Sauconrunner and I could have a thousand laughs if we sat in her living room and roasted marshmallows all night. Which we've done. :)

So, the player. Do you remember my super smooth chance encounter with a Flyer last summer? No? Well, read all about it here and then come back to this post to continue. I'll wait for you.

All caught up? Smooth as sandpaper, right?

Well, he was there last night! I saw him and said, "I have to apologize to you. I'm the lunatic who told you I loved you outside the U2 concert last summer. I promise I'm not a crazy lunatic! I'm really a normal person." He just laughed and shook my hand while pointing to the man behind him (the team's head trainer) and saying, "This time I brought my bodyguard!" Then on his next trip by he graciously posed for a pic. I love this guy. Class act all the way.

When we posed in the penalty box, I jokingly asked if we should look mad about getting a penalty. Sauconrunner apparently took me seriously....

The penalty box pic is definitely my favorite from the event. It makes me laugh every time I see it.

More pics... The two of us on the Flyers' bench.

The locker room.

Just call me Posture Girl. (Could I look any stiffer??)

Action shot... She shoots, she scores!

Look at that form! I think I definitely have a future in hockey. Oh yeah.

Oh, and we also were interviewed for Comcast Sportsnet. No clue when/if it will ever air, but hopefully I didn't sound like too much of a dufus.

This pic isn't from last night, but look what a great seat I had for the Flyers/Red Wings game last week. Row 6, baby! And it was free! (The photo doesn't do it justice, as it was taken with my cell phone. You've heard of smart phones? I have a stupid phone. No zoom on the camera, just aim and press and hope for the best.)

Let's go Flyers!

The Girl Who Is Finally Reading the Books

OK, I know I'm about 3 years behind the rest of the world, but I am finally reading the The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series.

Holy schmoley are they good!!!! I couldn't put down the first one (I even came into work 20 minutes late one day because I absolutely positively had to find out what was going to happen in the book, so I kept on reading!). Now I'm mostly through the second one, and it's even better!

I am going to be so sad when I finish the third. There are no more... Ever.

But meanwhile... Run, don't walk, to the bookstore or library and get these books if you haven't already read them!

Why don't I swim more often???

Swimming seems to be the workout I am most willing to skip. But why? I absolutely love being in the water. I love feeling like I'm gliding. (Anyone who has seen me swim can stop laughing now... I said FEELING like I'm gliding. A girl can dream, can't she?) I love how effortless it feels. (Again, stop laughing.) I love the solitude. And the sun streaming in through the pool windows as it comes up during my time in the water.

I don't love smelling like chlorine the rest of the day, of course, but whatever.

After many, many skipped swim workouts, I forced myself to the pool this morning for 2,000 yards. For my last 500, I decided to do a ladder: 25, 50, 75, 100, and then back down (100, 75, 50, 25). I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was really pleased when I downloaded my times.

:22
:54
1:21
1:50
1:51
1:21
:53
:23

So they aren't blazingly fast. They are at least consistent! And my last interval was only a second slower than my first. That has to count for something, right? :)

If you don't see another swim workout in my log (on the right) next Tuesday, you have my permission to yell at me. greek_goddess17@hotmail.com

Well that explains a lot

I was weighed at the doctor's office this morning. 160 freaking pounds. 160! Yes, I was fully clothed. And yes, I had salty foods at the Flyers game last night. OK, so that takes me down to, what, 157? That's still five pounds beyond my heaviest weight ever. How the F did this happen?

It does explain some things, however.

Like how my average pace of all my runs, not just my long runs, is about 9 minutes per mile these days.

And how my pants are all a bit tight in the seat. (Silly me; I thought I was getting more muscular from the boot camp classes! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Theia = Moron! Who knew???)

The way I see it, I have a few options.

1. Weight Watchers.
2. The Biggest Loser.
3. Supermodel Training Camp, aka Anorexia 101.
4. Teach more classes at the gym.
5. Double workouts every freaking day of my freaking life.
6. Sign up for another Olympic distance tri.... or three.
7. Other suggestions?

Top Five Signs You Are Losing It

5. You walk into a room and immediately forget why you went there. Bonus points if you have to go up or down stairs to do this. Extra bonus points if you do it at work in plain view of all your coworkers while mumbling under your breath and looking completely befuddled.

4. You call people by the wrong name. Regularly. Even when they're wearing a name tag.

3. You call yourself by the wrong name. (Seriously. A coworker did this a few weeks ago. She is named Kim, and the person I was calling is also named Kim. Kim 1 picked up Kim 2's line and said, "XYZ Department, this is Kim 2. I mean Kim 1!")

2. You talk to yourself. And then you answer yourself. And have a little conversation, sort of.

1. You take a shower and forget to actually wash yourself. This morning I got in the shower, washed my hair, washed my face, applied conditioner, shaved my legs, and got out. About 20 minutes later, when I was already half ready for work, I realized I never used soap on any part of my body other than my face. What the what????

Yes, another television post

We pay something like $130 for cable (home Internet is bundled in there too, but our PC is so ancient that it's practically worthless). For our $130, we have access to a bazilion channels, exactly three of which are actually worth watching.

I mean, really? There's a show called Swamp People? And one about people who fish with their hands? WTF?

And let's not even mention Toddlers and Tiaras, Bridezillas, the Real Housewives of Who the F Cares, Jersey Shore, etc.

So here are some tv shows I'd like to propose. Surely one of my 2,000 channels can accomodate my humble request.

1. Kicking Out the Kardashians (alternate title: Kourtney and Kim Go Away)
2. Real Housewives Who Donate Money and Time to Charitable Causes
3. Toddlers Who Look and Act Like Toddlers
4. Extreme Cagefighting: Housewives vs. Mob Wives
5. The Bachelor Meets a Nice Girl All On His Own

I have to stop watching The Biggest Loser

Seriously, I don't think a bigger group of complete assholes has ever been assembled in the history of the world. There is not one person I like on the cast, yet I keep watching every week. WTF is my problem?

This week the aqua team won the right to come back on the ranch after being eliminated in the first minute of the first episode. Immediately, the reaction from the other players was not only negative, but downright nasty. At first, I felt sorry for them, especially Adrian, but by the show's end I was turning on him too.

Some impressions:

Adrian -- Needs to learn to just shut his yap.
Conda -- Quite possibly the ugliest, nastiest, most two-faced person I have ever seen. Why she hasn't been eliminated is beyond me. No one has even cast one vote for her, despite all the drama and tension she continues to create. It just proves that the producers call the shots; she's obviously still there for drama purposes.
Kim -- Running a close second to Conda.
Chism -- I liked him at first, but last night he was pretty nasty to a teammate.
Jeremy -- Conda's brother. 'Nuff said. He's extremely immature but not nearly as toxic as his assholic sister.
Bob -- What can I say about Bob? How about this:

Dear Bob,

Contrary to your overly inflated ego and incredibly warped sense of self-worth, you did not invent every workout move ever made. Nor are you the best trainer in the history of the world. And why does your fake southern accent get more pronounced every season?

Sincerely,
Theia

Edited to add: Holy hell, I just found this and cannot. stop. laughing.

Let the training begin

To take advantage an early bird discount, I signed up yesterday for the Caesar Rodney Half Marathon on March 25.

This race is an absolute bear. Hilly, usually cold and wet, hilly, lonely, no crowd support, hilly, and did I mention it's hilly? Oh, and there's a big uphill finish. Lovely.

But, as my friends pointed out, it coincides perfectly with the start of my marathon training, so let's get to it.

No matter what, I will get a course PR. I did this same race in 2002 on literally no training. Back then, I was a girl who worked out in the gym all the time and maybe ran once or twice a month (half an hour on the treadmill) to mix it up. My training for the race consisted of two one-hour runs on the treadmill in the 3 weeks leading up to the race. I had no respect for the distance. I figured, "Hell, I've done a few 5Ks and I'm in great shape. I'll be fine."

As you can guess, it did not go well. :) I finished, but it was the most painful, horrible, humbling athletic experience of my life. My time was downright embarrassing (2:35ish, if I remember correctly). I cried tear of relief and humiliation as I crossed the finish line, sure I was dead last.

Worse yet, I didn't have the right cold-weather tech clothes and never warmed up on the very cold day, and my running shoes weren't right for my feet. I ended up with internal bruising and jaundice in both feet from the lack of circulation and lack of proper support. Yes, my feet were YELLOW.

So yes. It will be a course PR this time around. You can bet on that.

One week ago

I had been working out like a fiend. I felt good about my workouts. I felt great about myself. I was toned and trim. My body felt nice and tight.

One week ago, I was really happy with myself -- that elusive, all-too-infrequent happiness about how I looked and felt.

And then I got sick.

And skipped not one, not two, not three, but FOUR days of workouts. In a row.

And now I feel squishy. Soft. Lethargic and lazy. Yuck.

Back to square one, I guess. Starting tomorrow.

Ice skating in Central Park

If you have not done this, get to NYC immediately and do it. It's worth the money. It's worth the crowd. It's worth the anxiety about falling and making a fool of yourself. Skating in Central Park was even more fun than I could have imagined.

As you're skating, this is your view. This is your view, people!!!!!

One of the highlights for me was skating around on a beautiful, clear, cold day with the skyline of New York above me and U2's "The Sweetest Thing" playing on the loudspeakers. It really doesn't get better than that.

By the time we were done, it was starting to get dark. Next time (and there will be a next time), I'm definitely staying until nightfall and skating under the stars.

I am, quite possibly, the biggest goober in America

Trust me. The race pics will support this theory.

Sunday was the Icicle Run, a popular 10-miler in my town. This year, it definitely lived up to its name. At race time, it was 22 degrees with a wind chill of 11! Toward the end of the race, I touched my ponytail and discovered that it was FROZEN SOLID. My hair was a solid chunk. What the ????

I have to say that I really, really like the 10 mile distance. It's long enough that you can go nice and slow (hahaha) but short enough that training for it doesn't take over your whole life. Anyway, a few friends and I decided we would do it but NOT race it. As Andrea said, it was a long run with a bib.

We convinced another woman, T, to run it with us. She spent 8 of the past 12 months dealing with pretty significant injuries (terrible knee problems followed by a stress fracture in her other leg), so she was worried about finishing. Within the first 2 miles, we split into two groups with me keeping T company just a little way behind the others. She told me repeatedly to go on ahead and catch up with our other friends, but I was happy to run with her at a slightly slower pace (they finished 3 minutes ahead of us, so it wasn't like we were that far behind) and keep her company. After all, we talked her into it; it wouldn't have been fair to leave her behind. That's the way I see it, anyway.

So we ran and talked and ran and talked. I didn't know her well, and it was really great getting to know her over the course of the run. We saw our husbands in mile 6, climbed hills, battled cramps (me) and fatigue (her), saw my husband and his daughter again in mile 8, and generally had a great time.

The most fun was when we saw the photographer, who happened to be a good friend of mine. Believe me when I tell you I hammed it up for the camera. Well, actually, just see for yourself.

As I said, T wasn't convinced she could do the whole 10 miles. Her longest run in a year prior to this race was 6 miles (and the doctors told her she'd never run more than 4 or 5 miles after her injury). She told me during the race that she figured she'd be around 1:40 IF she was able to finish. I am pleased to tell you that we finished together in 1:36:36. Woo hoo!

One more pic... My hubby D, his daughter, and our friend D (the photographer's son, who happened to be celebrating his 16th birthday that day!) who kicked butt with a 1:10:01 in the race having never run farther than 5K prior to this!

Many thanks to D, my stepdaughter, and the many spectators and volunteers who braved the cold to cheer us on.

My first race in..... 6 months????

Have I really not raced in six months? How can that be?

I realized this morning that the last race I did was my Olympic tri on July 24. Wow! Since I started racing in 2005, I don't think there's ever been a period of time that long between races.

Well, the slump ends this weekend. Icicle Run 10-miler on Sunday! The last time I raced, the temps were well into the 90s by the time I was done. This Sunday, I'll be lucky if it's in the 30s! Haha!

I am really looking forward to this one. Cool, crisp temperature, challenging hilly course, and great company (my friends and I are running together just for fun, not to race it). Sounds like a good Sunday morning to me!

Is your New Year's resolution to join a gym?

If so, read this! Actually, read it no matter what. It's funny. :)

Thanks to my friend Margo for sending it to me. #25 was my personal favorite. And #27 is the big secret that the informercials don't want you to know. It's that simple, folks. Move it and make good food choices.