March was a bust

I'm posting my April goals early because March... well, it didn't go as planned, fitness-wise.

I did not do all my planned workouts.
I did not lose weight.
I did not swim every week.
I did not pass Go.
I did not collect $200.

But April will be better! I know it.

APRIL GOALS
- Swim 1-2 times per week.
- Get outside on my bike (it will eventually be warm enough, right???)
- Drop to 147 by May 1.
- Stick to my schedule.
- Do at least 2-3 early morning workouts per week.

I can do this.

It's time

Hardest. Class. Ever.

Last night I subbed my old HEAT class (High Energy Athletic Training, aka boot camp). I don't know what possessed me to make it so incredibly hard, but suffice it to say that *I* nearly puked at one point... so you can imagine how awful the class members felt.

I did a simple Add It On class. 10 different exercises or drills. Do #1 and rest. Do #1 again and add #2, then rest. 1 + 2 + 3, take a break. You get the idea. Here are the exercises, in order:

1. 10 burpees
2. 1 minute mountain climber
3. 10 squats standing on a BOSU
4. 10 pushups
5. 16 sumo squats (straddle the BOSU, down low in a squat like a sumo wrestler, and jump onto the BOSU with both feet, still staying low, step down down... 8 with your right leg leading off, then 8 with your left leg leading)
6. up up down down on the BOSU, 2 jacks on the floor, 16 total (switch lead leg after 8)
7. 10 bodybuilders (hold the BOSU overhead with the dome side away from you, do a squat thrust, 1 plank jack, 1 pushup, jump back up and lift the BOSU overhead again... that's 1)
8. 10 overhead tricep extensions using the BOSU as your weight
9. 1 minute bicycle
10. 1 minute plank

I'll save you from having to do the math. We did 100 burpees last night. (Plus all the other stuff, but 100 burpees!)

I'm pretty certain everyone in the class has their Theia voodoo dolls out today and multiple pins handy, getting their revenge on me!

My legs might actually fall off this time

I know I've threatened it before, but this time it might really happen.

Thursday: an hour plus of intervals on the bike trainer
Friday: mile repeats (my first effort at speedwork in 5 months) - 7:43, 7:40, 7:35
Saturday: the most hellacious bike trainer class ever... 85 minutes of hell
Sunday: hilly 8 mile run
Monday: 3.4 miles of boot camp this morning

And I have to teach a 90-minute Spinning class tonight.

Seriously, I may be limping something fierce tomorrow.

Oof.

Things that drive me up a wall

- Grammar, usage, punctuation, and spelling errors. Especially, as "some" of you know, "unnecessary" use "of" "quotation" marks"," followed closely by using an apostrophe to indicate a plural. Or should I say plural's.

[banging head against the wall repeatedly]

OK, I'm back.

- Abbreviations and word derivations that are meant to be cute but really, truly are just stupid. Examples: EVOO, sammy, sammich, de-lish, and yum-o. See also: Rachael Ray.

- The extra letter in RachAel Ray's name.

- The overinflated sense of worth demonstrated by politicians who haven't accomplished a damn thing and don't have a single original idea, yet seem poised to take over the country. See: Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, Tea Baggers, I mean Party. (Related note: best quote ever, by Jon Stewart. "Sarah Palin was so accomplished at being governor of Alaska that she graduated early!")

- The ever-loosening definition of celebrity. It used to be that you had to have some talent to be famous. Now you just need to have a sex tape or famous parent or ex-spouse. See: Kardashians, Hiltons, Real Housebimbos of [insert city here].

- Celebrities who aren't content to be famous in one arena and have to CONQUER THE WORLD by acting, singing, dancing, modeling, being a judge on American Idol, having a clothing line, developing a perfume... Yes, I'm talking to you, Jennifer Lopez. See also: Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson.

There's more, but my brain hurts just thinking of all this so I must stop. For now.

March goals

FITNESS
- Continue to swim at least once a week, working up to twice a week
- Incorporate speedwork and hills into my runs (not at the same time)
- Continue to build bike fitness
- 5K race on 3.26 - pace pace build race, pace pace build race, pace pace build race
- Lift weights twice a week
- Teach kickass and fun classes

HEALTH
- Drop 4 pounds by April 1
- Get my left knee under control... It's not making me happy at. all.
- To that end, use the foam roller at least twice a week on my legs. Ouch.
- Stay healthy

WORK/LIFE
- Continue to work hard and be indispensable to my boss :)
- Tackle the website updates I never have time to finish
- Make more time to play with the critters every day