Last night I watched part of the show Parenthood on NBC. I've seen bits and pieces of it before but never a whole episode. (I need to start getting ready for bed prior to 11 when it ends.) I know the basic gist of the show, in other words, even though I'm not someone who is glued to the tv for that hour.
Last night's show featured a single mom fighting with her teenage daughter. And a married couple fighting with their teenage daughter. And a dad lamenting the fact that his girlfriend was moving and taking their son with her. And other stuff, I'm sure, but that's what stuck with me.
As I watched, I kept wondering, "When's the good part? When will it show the good part of being a parent? When is the fun part?"
Because I gotta be honest with you. Watching that show did not make me EVER want to be a parent. Never.
My life is amazing right now. I am healthy. I am loved. I am surrounded by family and friends that I adore. I have a job I love and am fairly good at doing. I have time to do most of what I want to do. I have very few arguments and rarely raise my voice. Confrontations are few and far between.
I am happy.
The people on the show did not look happy.
So when's the good part? Because I went to bed last night thinking, "Oh. Hell. No."
5 comments:
When is the good part?
The first time they smile at you.
The first time you see them take a step.
The first time you see your kid do something that you taught them.
The first time you see yourself in your kid.
The little rituals and traditions you establish, whether it's reading at bed time or walking the dog or watching a particular show or having a little talk or even something silly like a special handshake you do with them.
And when you see them happy.
It's hard. I mean, it can be brutal. But, you just have to believe that although it's hard, it'll be worth it.
Like training. There's good days and bad days, but in the end, when you cross the finish line, it's all worth it.
Now go on out and have a dozen. :)
Lincoln
Kids will push boundaries. That's their job. Believe it or not, that in and of itself can be a good part. They are growing up. And figuring things out. And when they get it right, or handle adversity well -- you can't imagine the pride you feel...
And the same kid that pushes is the same kid that will pick you flowers... just cuz you're Mom, and you are the greatest, smartest adult in the whole world.
You will kiss it and make it better. You will have opportunities to explain life's mysteries. You will hear them laugh, and know that there is no sound... none... that is more magical.
It can be hard. Adjusting to being a part-time dad after my divorce was the single hardest thing I've ever done. But every time I see my little girl, and every time she says, "I love you, Daddy," I know happiness.
Don't watch those junk shows! Those are people who lost control of their kids long ago, or never had control of them. Okay, that might be a major generalization but I do not believe it is a good representation of parenthood or parenting and you cannot believe it as such.
There are plenty of families out there with good stuff going on inside the home. Sure, you're going to fight with your kids, but that is because of a few different reasons. One, you look out for them with their best interests in mind and try to protect them; they rebel because they don't understand and don't have the experience. Remember how we all use to think we knew it all when we were teens?
Second, you disagree, and that's okay. I will fight with my child on any given day due to a disagreement if that means they will learn how to reason and explain their side of the argument. If that means they learn how to stand up for themselves then I feel they have learned some valuable life lessons in my opinion.
It's not all fighting, they are a million and one amazing and positive things that go on that completely overwhelm the little bumps along the way.
One of the best parts is looking at your 18 y.o. son and seeing all of him - the first moment you met him, his goofy style of crawling, his first day of school, when he got 17 stitches in his hand, when he first went off to overnight camp, when he returned from 30 days canoeing, when he cried because his first girlfriend broke his heart, watching him run/play the cello/do his homework...
You're the only one who has the entire continuum of him in your head. It's terrifying and wonderful. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I can't really add anything else. Kids sure can drive you crazy. They do create stress with your spouse because you disagree on a punishment or a rule. But it's worth it. Like the first time they beat you at a board game (14yo beat me at chess last week for the first time and I did not let him win) and you start seeing them make good choices in hard situations. When they are willing to ask you the tough questions because they are looking for answer.
Post a Comment