A breakthrough

I had a major breakthrough this weekend. I'd been afraid in open water since I was caught in a rip current last November in OBX. All my tris this summer were a struggle, and I didn't realize it until a big panic attack in my last race. (All summer I thought my heart was racing in my swims b/c I was swimming faster; no, it was racing b/c I was having anxiety attacks!)

Well, during my long run on Saturday I realized I'm looking at it all wrong. Instead of looking at my experience as proof of how scary the water is or how vulnerable I would be if something happened, I should realize how strong I am. I was caught in a nasty, horrid rip current the day before a hurricane hit. I had already run a half marathon that morning, I hadn't eaten properly afterward, I was cold and dehydrated, I was exhausted, and I GOT OUT OF IT. It took me nearly 45 minutes, but I did it.

I'm not incapable. I'm not a bad swimmer.

I am strong.

Now I can't wait for the 2011 tri season!