Characters

Yesterday I received six emails from concerned friends, warning me about a man who has been following female runners (in his car). When he was caught after two of the women called 911, he was found to have a knife and stockings in his front seat.

I had a tempo run on my schedule last night, and since I didn't get to do it until after 7 p.m. I decided to be smart and run on the treadmill at the Y.

The bad news - I was stuck on a treadmill.
The good news - I had an AWESOME 5 mile tempo run and felt like I could have gone another 2 or 3 miles at least.
The better news - Running on the treadmill for 40 minutes gave me the opportunity to be entertained by the characters surrounding me. Here they are in all their glory.

The Puncher, aka Rock-em Sock-em Robot - This guy literally punched his semi-clenched fists across his body the whole time he ran. Step and jab, step and jab, step and jab.

The Leaner - I've seen this girl before. I think she's a recent UD grad. Her gait is really awkward -- she looks like a pony just learning to walk! -- but she seems like a fairly strong runner based on how frequently and how long she runs. She always has the treadmill set at 8 minute miles, and she leans to the left the entire time, almost to the point of accidentally stepping off the belt and onto the side of the machine. She looks like she's in pain, quite frankly. Compare her to...

The Glider - IronHubby's high school crush! She's an amazing runner. She makes it look effortless. She too ran at an 8 minute pace last night, but she looked as though she was barely exerting herself. Her feet barely came off the belt. Poetry in motion.

Shoulder Man - My neck and shoulders hurt just looking at this guy. He was a bundle of stress. His shoulders almost touched his earlobes! I wanted to go behind him and push his shoulders down. Relax, dude!

Mr. I'm Barely Running - This guy was going so slowly that he may as well have been walking. I think he wants to be a runner but has no idea how to push himself, so he sets the treadmill at a slow speed and forces himself to add a little hop to his step to make it look like he's actually running. He also reads the newspaper the whole time he's on the treadmill... yeah, really not exerting himself much!

Posture Girl - She came dangerously close to falling off the back of the treadmill. Her posture was completely rigid, and she was going a little too fast for her own capabilities. After a few minutes, she wisely held onto the console until it was time to slow down.

And finally,

Ashtray Boy - Somehow, the stinkiest people in the gym ALWAYS end up next to me. This guy had the stench of cigarettes oozing out of every pore while he ran. Blech.

Hmmm, maybe my next blog entry will be entitled "My Many Faults." First on the list will be cattiness...